Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?
My wife: It’s impossible to live with him. He’s too literal.
Me: My truck.
Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest,
... when all of a sudden they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, "Hm, I didn't even know they had public transportation here."
[my gf's fav joke, literal translation from German]
The pros and cons of being overly literal
PROS:
People who profit as a result of their occupation.
CONS:
People found guilty of a criminal offense.
Couples therapist: So tell me, what brings you here today?
Wife: I can’t stand living with him. He’s too literal.
Me: My truck.
(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname...
Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.
I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.
Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?
Wife: It’s hard to live with him. He’s so literal.
Me: My truck.
The other day I found this literal fossil of a PC... It had about a trilobyte of storage on it!
Interviewer: your resume says you're very literal Me: my resume talks??
The kids tried to name the pet fish
But they were far too literal with names like "fishy" and "flipper".
I wonder where Little Human and Naked Baby get that from.
A literal dictatorship...
..is a potato boat named Richard.
^^^kill ^^^me
If an anime was based around the Ottoman Empire... It would be a literal Harem anime.
Literal People Anonymous Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!
Today I got fired from my other job... I guess I shouldn't have taken baby sitting too literal.
Couples Therapist: So, tell me what brought you here today?
Her: It’s impossible living with him. He’s so literal.
Him: My truck.
Yo momma is so literal... ...You still have the scar from when she threw you under the bus.
When your not clever enough for metaphors... I've found literal comparisons make great fact similes.
Being tired can mean... Being hit with a literal car wheel.
What's the difference between a literal person and a cleptomaniac? The literal takes everything literally. The cleptomaniac takes everything, literally.