I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
^([I stole this from imgur comments, but I am posting it here so that you can use it today and tomorrow on people you dislike. Merry Christmas.])
What is another name for Santa's elves?
Subordinate Clauses!
Merry Christmas everyone.
I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads:
This is ground ctrl.
TO: Major Tom
(Merry Christmas David Bowie!)
What did Santa say, when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend in the same room?
Merry Christmas ladies!
Don’t wanna spoil Christmas with a bad joke.
Merry Christmas people:)
Ho ho ho! But that's enough about the Kardashians, merry Christmas everyone!
The Wi-Fi at my parents' house is really slow, so I hope this sends... but I just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas for tomorrow!
Merry Christmas.. Or Happy Heineken, as the case may be ;)
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!! Maby a cross-post to math is in order.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
*Merry Christmas*
How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece navidad
Merry Christmas and Happy Ho idays to friends and oved ones c ose and far. B essings to you and yours this Yu e season. This is my no-L greeting!
Why did the anorexic cow take great offense when the farmer wished him Merry Christmas? ...because he was a moo-slim.
Merry Christmas to all the paranoia sufferers out there.... Just remember, you are not alone.....
Merry christmas and happy new year! - Internet explorer
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! This is what Santa Clause says when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.
Merry Christmas! From everyone at the Alzheimer's society.
What do you call a grasshopper that forgot the words to "We Wish You a Merry Christmas?" A "hum" bug.
My mate wished me a Merry Christmas earlier. A bit early, yes, but he suffers from premature congratulation.
What do you call an Elf that sings?
A wrapper!
Merry Christmas.
I hope you got what you wished for. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Sherlock joke (my first post here)
Patient: \**dying of cancer*\* No chance for you to be a doctor this time, Mr Homes!
Doctor: Oh, do your research. I'm not a hero, I'm a high functioning homeopath. Merry Christmas! \**cuts off morphine supply\**
Merry Christmas:2002
How do you know every Tickle-Me-Elmo is male?
Before each one leaves the factory they get two test-tickles!
I asked Santa for something to wear and something to play with...
He brought me a pair of trousers with holes in the pockets.
Merry Christmas everyone!
What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother? HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!
What do you call a dog on the beach?
Sandy Claws
Merry Christmas
My co-workers must be atheists because they hate when I greet them "Merry Christmas!" It doesn't seem to matter whether I greet them from over or under the bathroom stall.
What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'? They are both santa clauses.
Merry Christmas! If that's politically correct.
Merry Christmas from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Death Vader: Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents...