What do you call a mouse on 2 legs
Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot"
Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer.
The lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy"
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"
Why does Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter? It Disney land.
What did Mickey Mouse yell when the president was about to be shot? Donald!! Duck!!!
Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.
Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? Because Donald ducked.
Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?"
I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.
Which mouse can walk with two legs? Mickey Mouse. But which duck can walk with two legs? All of them dumbass
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names
Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet.
I went to the Doctors and told him kept hallucinating and seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and their pals..... The Doc said not to worry...you're just having Disney spells...
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite type of car A Mini Coupé
Mickey mouse is getting a divorce Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says "unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy" Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"
What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!
I bought a Mickey Mouse puzzle. It said 3 to 5 years on it. It only took me 15 months to finish.
I met a kid who loved everything black and white. He adored penguins, pandas, and Mickey mouse I dont get why I'm not allowed to hang out with him anymore. All I asked is if he likes michael jackson.
Mickey Mouse hangs himself... He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? To find Pluto.
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He wanted to find Pluto!
Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball? Because Donald ducked.
Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie...
The Judge says "so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"
Mickey replies "No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy."
Did you hear about the broken helicopter that Mickey Mouse bought from Scotland? Disneyland
Mickey Mouse
Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse
Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs?
A: They all do!
What did Mickey Mouse say when a Frisbee was heading towards Trump? Donald Duck!
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive? A Minnie van...
Wits wrong wae Mickey Mouses helicopter? Disneyland
Mickey Mouse's wife and Christopher Robin's friend made a gameshow together where contestants do 60 second challenges. They called it... Minnie to Winnie.
What’s so special about Mickey Mouse
What’s so special about Mickey Mouse: He walks two legged
What’s so special about Donald Duck: You guessed wrong all ducks stand on two feet
I got this really cool Mickey Mouse watch. It shows the time very clearly. The dial is really really handy.
I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse but I didn't get the part. The director said I was too Goofy