My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry" "...but you can't count Missouri twice."
The Imperial Wizard of the KKK was just found dead near a river in Missouri... Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping white trash in our water.
Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States? Because Missouri loves company
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.
I started taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen got mad at me. I said, “What, I’m just putting them out of their Missouri”
How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just shoot the room for being black.
Interviewer: Where were you born?
Me: Missouri.
I: What state are you in now?
M: Apathy.
I: That's not what I meant.
M: I don't care.
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska
Continuing the apparent theme of incest jokes...
How do you circumcise a boy from Missouri?
You kick his sister in the chin.
Why is the 24th State so depressed? It’s a constant state of Missouri
If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska
Which state of misery can be the worst to live in? Missouri
The Red Cross knocked on the door... of an elderly Bostonian, and asked if he could contribute towards the floods in Missouri. He replied he'd love to, but his garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway.
What do you have if you get 14 women from Missouri in a room? A full set of teeth.
Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time? Because Missouri loves company.
My lawyer advised me to register my new corporation in delaware due to its lax laws regarding corporate ownership but i am going to have to go against his advice... Besides, I have always heard Missouri loves companies
I live in a state of constant agony. That state is Missouri.
What state do depressed people live in? Missouri.
My companies biggest customer is the state of Missouri. I guess it's safe to say Missouri loves my company.
What do you call a sad state? Missouri
Why are people in St. Louis always sad? They live in a constant state of Missouri.
Have you heard about Missouri's new tourist campaign? "Missouri loves company."
What did the US say when it was sad? “I’m in Missouri.”
I heard Missouri is having some great Black Friday sales this year... 100% off everything.
If Missouri and Oregon became one state.... It'd be known as the show me your beaver state.
Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware? idaho but alaska
Do you know what I have in common with Jefferson City? We’re both the capital of Missouri.
San Francisco, Manhattan, Chicago and Miami were having a lively conversation until St. Louis passed by, looking depressed.
Chicago said, "why are you so sad?"
St. Louis replied, "I'm always in a state of Missouri."
I'm going to do my Christmas shopping in Missouri. I hear the deals are so hot the stores are practically on fire!
Why did Missouri decided to also name their side of the river "Kansas City"? Because Missouri loves company.
If Mississippi asked Missouri for her New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho either, but Alaska!