What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy.
What kind of award do you give someone who has not moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy.
Anatomy joke
What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?
The gluteus maximus
What do you call a Jewish bodybuilder that's a member of the aristocracy? Muscle-Toff
Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary? Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.
What does a muscle contraction cost? 80p
I have great muscle memory I totally remember when I was in shape.
A surgeon just removed my son's cardiac muscle. That's disheartening.
How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder? Muscle Tov!
What did the policeman shout when he caught seafood thieves red-handed? NOBODY MOVE A MUSCLE.
Why did the muscle miss class? ...because it wasn't a-tendon!
What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest? Atrophy!
After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone. The pin really is mightier than the sore.
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week? A trophy!
Do you know how I feel about muscle relaxers? I valium.
I was complaining about my lack of muscle growth to a buddy of mine in the gym...
Me: I come here everyday, 3 hours each day and I look the same as I did 6 months ago.
Buddy: No whey!
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at a bar mitzvah? Muscle. Tough.
What Italian dictator is either the strongest, or the fishiest? Benito Muscle-ini or Benito Mussel-ini
I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle.
What muscle group do you use the most when kidnapping someone? The abductors.
Where does Muscle Milk come from? Muscle mammary
I'm taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue.
I don't want to talk about it.
...It's a sore subject.
What do you call a muscle car that won't start? All torque, no action.
What hurts more than a breakup? Muscle cramps.
What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass? A protein sheikh.
Is that a new muscle shirt you got the other day Do the muscles come tomorrow?
What Do You Call a Ocean Raider Tired of His Pet Bird's Muscle Spasms?
What do you call a ocean raider tired of his pet bird's muscle spasms?
A pirate tired of polly tics.
What's the strongest muscle on a pig? The hamstring.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Is a terrible thing to say to someone with a muscle eating disease.
What happen when you pull a muscle?
You start tendon to it.
Now, don't go breaking any bones, even though I know you are cracking up at this.