I once asked a New Zealander how many girlfriends he's had. But he fell asleep while counting.
How does a New Zealander find a sheep in long grass? Rather enjoyable
A new Zealand joke
Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?
They saw what happened to the sheep
New Zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep...
Meat and wool.
(Exchange for Welshmen if need be)
I once asked my friend from New Zealand to count how many girlfriends he's had Shortly after attempting to do so, he fell asleep.
A New Zealander is walking down the road with a sheep under each arm...
A local man spots him and asks 'Are you shearing?'
To which he says 'No, I'm gonna sleep with both of them '.
What's the worst part about being a prostitute in New Zealand? Competing with the sheep.
Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts? Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers
How does a New Zealander find a sheep in long grass? Irresistible.
Nobody cares when I say I don't like the New Zealand Rugby Team But they all lose their mind when I say that I hate All Blacks
What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
Do you know why New Zealand has banned blind people from bungee jumping? It kept scaring the life out of the seeing eye dogs.
Why do New Zealanders always do well at rowing?
Because it combines the two things they are best at,
sitting down,
and going backward....
Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
I used to put kumquats all over her melons, it was great. I wanted to run off to the New Zealand with her and secretly marry among the kiwis, but she told me she cantaloupe so I ended it. No, there is no punch line.
A South African, New Zealander, Barbadian and an Irish Man walk into a bar and win the Cricket World Cup for England
How does a New Zealander find sheep in tall grass? Delightful
What's a New Zealander's favorite car? The Kia Ora.
There are three kinds of people in New Zealand.. The racists, the big spiders, and the big racist spiders..
What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand? A community centre
What language does a New Zealander Rabbi use to greet people? HeyBru
How do men in New Zealand address their women? "Hey! Ewe!"
I was fired for flying my plane from New Zealand to Hawaii. They said I really crossed the line.
What did the Rabbi from New Zealand say?
Hey Bro
(Read in your best Kiwi accent)
A bad uber driver drove from New Zealand to Australia. He got two stars.
Why Lord of The Rings was shot in New Zealand? Because there are no Two Towers in U.S.A.
Where do New Zealanders bury lobsided people? Asymmetry
What is a New Zealanders favourite love song? Cant help falling in love with a ewe..
Joke from New Zealand: "What's a Hindu?" Lays iggs.
Why is it so hard for New Zealanders to fall asleep? They're too turned on from counting sheep.
What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander? Hee brew
An Australian, New Zealander and a South African walk into a bar and each order a beer. Bartender: Sorry, we don’t serve Bears 🐻
Whats a New Zealanders favorite drink? Brew
Why did the New Zealand dairy Make the Greek dairy go out of business. Their cows were feta.
Did u hear about the two million people that died in the Middle East? It's awful, 2 milllion dead. Everyone is helping out though. The Aussies are sending loads of beef, New Zealand is sending sheep and London is sending Muslims.
I just accepted an amazing job offer. I get to work outside, set my own hours, and I'll be getting laid pretty much all the time. Next week, I'll be catching a flight to New Zealand to start my new life as a sheep rancher.
Why would New Zealand starting a war against Australia be historical? It would be the first time New Zealand declared anything against Australia.
What’s a New Zealander’s favorite number? Six.