I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? There's only one Bender in Futurama
what do you call a group of homosexuals walking the same way? one direction
What is Rickon Stark's favorite band? One Direction
So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars.
This happened over the weekend I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What's the difference between one direction and futurama There's only one bender in futurama
I had a broken vacuum... then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
Yo mama's soo ugly.. One Direction went the other way.
What's 20 foot long, screams like a banshee and has no pubes? The front row of a One Direction concert.
I Know why Zayn Malik left islam he tired of praying in one direction
One direction have gone their seperate ways, Isn’t that ironic!
How did the band One Direction get it's name? Because when they're running the trainbang they're all facing... one direction.
Kanye and Kim name their first child North West... ....in hopes that it will one day be the lead singer for One Direction
I decided to treat my girlfriend.
"Since I know how much you like One Direction," I assured her, "I thought you might like to see them."
"Oh my goodness!" she squealed, "Did you get me tickets to their concert??!?!?"
"No, but they are on that poster over there....." I added.
What is Rickon Stark's favourite band ? One Direction.
Love it how music can take you to another place . For example, One direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one.
Did you know there's a street in England named Harry Styles Boulevard? It only goes in one direction, though.
Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn... He kicks everyone out of the band and says: "If there's only one direction, it's West."
One Direction broke up Everything was just going south.
What's Rickon Starks favourite band? One Direction
"What does 'straight' mean?"
...asked the son.
Dad: Straight means something continuing in one direction without bending.
Son: Dad, is mom straight?
Dad: Yes son, she doesn't have any curves.
I can't believe there's a band named after diode flow... One Direction
I spotted a member of one direction yesterday.. and my friend who hates them said, "that's like spotting a tumor". To which I said, "not really, it's big deal when you spot a tumor"
One Direction broke up... They are finally heading in the right direction.
Did you know? One Direction's "best song ever" is not actually best song ever.
PQ syndrome
When you point your weener in one direction, pee comes out the opposite.
Physically may be impossible, but scientists have concurred that alphabetically very much possible.
A new barbershop just opened called Hairy Styles. They only do comb-overs in One Direction.
Harry Styles got robbed in London Witness says suspects ran in One Direction