I walked in last night to find a paramedic crouching over my wife. “Get your lips off my wife,”
I snapped pulling him off her. “But sir, I’m not kissing her!” He pleaded. “She’s stopped breathing.”
“Do I need to repeat myself?
A Jewish man gets hit by a car...
in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital the paramedic asks "are you comfortable?"
the Jewish man shrugs. "I make a living."
As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face: I'm having a stroke.
It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be a paramedic.
What do you call a medic who jumps out of a plane? A paramedic.
What did the flirty paramedic say to the bleeding woman? “Hey girl, what’s your type?”
What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians? A paramedic(s)!
For the EMS crowd
What's the most reassuring thing about a Paramedic?
They know everything about the human body.
What's the scariest thing about a Paramedic?
They know everything about the human body.
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living.
What did the alien paramedic say? Take me to your bleeder.
A catholic priest is dying and is rushed to hospital
Upon arriving the priest says “Am I in heaven?”
And the paramedic says “No we’re taking a shortcut through the children’s ward”
A paramedic was called out to a vegan couple who'd overdosed on vegetables The first thing he did was take their pulses
What's the occupation that has the most likely hood of putting people in the hospital? Paramedic