Pear Jokes

I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I suck. What am I? pear

Score: 1365

Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear.

Score: 212

I walked into my boss's office and handed him a pear... "What's this for? he asked.

I replied, "A raise. My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

Score: 138

A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear.

Score: 118

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both pear

Score: 107
Funny Pear Jokes
Score: 74

Scared of eating genetically modified fruit? Grow a pear.

Score: 60

I used to weep over my poor apple harvest. Then I grew a pear.

Score: 50

My dad always thought I wasn't man enough to become a fruit farmer... ... I proved him wrong by growing a pear.

Score: 46

I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear

Score: 45

When is an Iphone not an Apple? When there's two of them. Then it's a pear.

Score: 36

I know you can't compare apples to oranges... ...but two apples do make a pear.

Score: 27

only joke i ever made up.. What did the papa pear tree say to his effeminate male son? GROW A PAIR!

Score: 12

Why did the pear turn itself into juice? Because of the pear pressure

Score: 12

My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear.

Score: 9

My friend is afraid of fruit. So I told him to grow a pear.

Score: 9

What did the farmer do to prove he's tough? Grew a pear.

Score: 9

What got the apple into skydiving? Pear pressure.

Score: 7

What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits? Son? Grow a pear.

Score: 7

I used to be afraid of gardening... ...but then I thought I'd grow a pear.

Score: 7

Did you hear about the fruit that started smoking? It was pear pressure.

Score: 7

My mate was freaking out today, crying and all. He had no idea how he was going to become the fruit farmer he'd always dreamed of being. I told him to grow a pear.

Score: 6

Where do you take your pear tree when it runs out of pears? ...................the re-pear shop

Score: 6

A fruit, an insect, and a Chinese surname walk into a bar. Well, a pear, ant, lee.

Score: 5

What’s green, hangs in a tree and shouts: I am an apple! I am an apple! A crazy pear!

Score: 5

Why was the Apple uncomfortable in the fruit bowl? Pear pressure

Score: 5

When does a pear become a pair? When one appears.

Score: 4

Do you think an orange wants to be juice? Or is it just pear pressure?

Score: 4

I should probably take up growing fruit trees Because people keep telling me I should grow a pear.

Score: 4

Why was the couple so juicy? Because it was a great pear.

Score: 4

What did the vegetable couple say to the fruit couple? You two make a nice pear.

Score: 4

I've been secretly tossing pears at my neighbor for a couple weeks now I can hear him talking to his wife about government drones trying to drive him crazy, but he's just pear annoyed.

Score: 3

Why was the strawberry bruised? Pear pressure.

Score: 2

What did the apple say to the pear? No idea. I figured if anyone knew what fruits talked about it would be you.



Aaaannnd here come the downvotes...

Score: 2

How did George Michael speak when he couldn't eat fruit? In a pear-less whisper.


I'll see myself out.

Score: 1

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