Hilarious Probability Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

A class is learning about probability.. Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head?

Girl: For a penny? Not very bright.

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A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage. “The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!”

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States would make a lot more revenue if they taxed people who don't understand math or basic probability. Oh wait. I forgot about the lottery.

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2 thieves are planning a robbery on a probability shop One of them, unsure, says:
"I dunno man, I don't wanna take any chances"

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What has the probability of one in five million? Blonde: But there's no 1 in 5,000,000. Only a five and six zeros.

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There is a 50/50 risk of loosing your hand during your life... Either you loose it or you don't. The probability on the other hand... is unsure.

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Is your normal probability plot approximately linear? Cause you can distribute your sample over me

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statistician boards plane with a bomb the probability of there being two bombs on a plane is much lower

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We should start taxing people who don't comprehend math or basic probability. Nevermind. I forgot about the lottery.

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Controlling probability is the best super power And I think there's a big chance that you'll agree

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I am like an electron.... My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function

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Around 26 out of 100 people fail at probability theory that's over 60%

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My probability for being in a relationship The probability of me in World War 3 is higher than the probablity of me in a relationship.

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I like my jokes convoluted. What did the vegetarian German probability-mathematician say to the multilingual butcher killing a pig?

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"That's the wurst that could happen!"

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Have you heard of probability before? The student replied, "probably"

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States would make more revenue if they taxed people who didn't understand math or basic probability. Oh yeah. I forgot about the lottery.

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My probability tutor scammed my life when she said "toss a coin & you will get a head". 24 years into tossing coin yet i never got a head.

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I am solving probability questions... probably I'll solve them.

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