Puppet Jokes

For sale: Guitar

Yoyo

Puppet

Kite

£5 for the lot

Genuine reason for sale

No strings attached

Score: 523

If I had a nickel for every time I was cursed by a puppet.. I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird that it happened twice.

Score: 51

Free broken puppet! No hidden fees, free shipping, free returns. There's... no strings attached.

Score: 12

I'm giving away a broken puppet. No strings attached.

Score: 11

My friend told me he suffered from stage fright. I told him he should try imagining his audience naked. He seemed really eager to try that, thanked me and left.

A few minutes later, I realized he ran a puppet show for children.

Score: 6
Funny Puppet Jokes
Score: 5

TIL the word "Muppet" is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet". It's like how the word "mobster" is a combination of "man" and "lobster".

Score: 4

What did one sock puppet say to another? You look like you could use a hand.

Score: 4

I think that one puppet from Sesame Street is my favorite vampire ever. Some people claim he doesn't count, but I'm certain that he does.

Score: 4

what do you call a crappy sock puppet? sock pooppet

Score: 3

A woodpecker's a bird... ...unless you're a puppet.

~ The late great Robin Williams

Score: 3

What do you call an endowed puppet? ​

​

​

​

Well strung.

Score: 3

What do you call a faceless sock puppet? A mitten.

Score: 3

What is the USSRs favourite puppet show? The Allies

Score: 3

Who's your favourite Vampire? Mine is that Sesame Street puppet ..and before you say "he doesn't count"....

Score: 3

If Russia has been.... If Russia has been meddling with American politics and Trump is Vladimir Putins Puppet... Does that make Vladimir Putin a Trumpeteer?

Score: 2

Selling a broken puppet for $1... no strings attached!!!

Score: 2

There’s a fine line between a puppet master and their puppet That’s how the puppet works

Score: 2

Broken puppet for sale! No strings attached...

Score: 2

How to kill a sock puppet that's planning to shoot up people? disarm it

Score: 2

What do you call a Wall Street marionette? A stock puppet.

Score: 1

what did one sock puppet say to the other? you could use a hand.

Score: 1

So this lady is going on about men with big trucks. i was just thinking. "ha yeah thats true." then i saw the minuscule purse with the pigmy puppet she was clinging to.

Score: 1

Who is the russian undercover man puppet? ... T R U M P

Score: 1

For Sale: Wooden puppet who turns into a real boy! No strings attached...

Score: 1

My friends want me to be Oscar the grouch for Halloween But what’s the point?
After all I already am a depressed puppet who lives in a trash can

Score: 1

I thought my relationship with this puppet years ago would be casual. She lied....there were strings attached.

Score: 0

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