Old Soviet joke.
Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: “Reagan won. Gorgachev lost”.
Soviet newspapers: “Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last”.
Chernobyl
Have you ever seen Ronald Reagan's response to the Chernobyl incident?
He thought the Russians were just "overreacting."
Here's a joke from the 80s
Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."
The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"
Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."
Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents
Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States
-Eisenhower
-Kennedy
-Johnson
-Nixon
-Ford
-Carter
-Reagan
-Bush
-Clinton
-GW Bush
-Obama
But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump
Heard this from my History Professor.
Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.
Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.
After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died? To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party
Old USSR joke about free speech
In America you have freedom of speech. You can stand in front of the White House and say: "Reagan Sucks."
In Soviet Russia, you also have freedom of speech. You can stand in front of the Kremlin and say: "Reagan Sucks."
I don't care much for political jokes. But I was thinking what would Reagan think of our current toxic political climate if he was alive today? I think he would say " WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX"
If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket.
What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump? Reagan helped tear down a wall.
President Reagan and his wife were at a state dinner and the waiter asked her what she wanted for her entree. She said, "I'll have the chicken". The waiter asked, "what about the vegetable?" She replied, "He'll have the beef"
Joke from a 5 year old
kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk?
me: ...why?
kid: because they are all dead.
source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup.
Why are people comparing Trump to Reagen? Reagan's biggest accomplishment was tearing down a wall not putting one up.
Why was John F. Kennedy secretly a more successful actor than Ronald Reagan? He always knew how to take the perfect headshot.
What is Reagan's favorite vegetable? Jim Brady
What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today? He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"
Elmo, Bill Cosby, and Ronald Reagan are told to save the world. Their solution: Tickle Down Economics
Revamped Reagan/Churchill-Gorbachev marathon joke.
Trump, Hillary, and Putin ran a marathon.
Trump wins, Putin finished last.
US newspapers: Hillary finished second.
Russian newspapers: Putin won.
What did Ronald Reagan say when he found out he had cancer and Alzheimers? Well...at least I don't have cancer!
What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow.
This guy kept telling people Reagan National Airport was wayyy too loud... but the complaints fell on deaf ears.
What are the four main problems with Soviet agriculture?
Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter
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yeh this Reagan's joke, doesn't mean it isn't funny
What did the Italian Security Officer say when president Ronald Reagan was about to step into some trouble? Oh! Regan No!
Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November. Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.
Joe Biden mixed up Donald Trump with George Bush Later, Joe apologised for his error and confirmed that he is fighting fit, raring to go and he can't wait to beat Ronald Reagan in the coming election.
I think my TV may be possessed. Today I saw the Three Stooges and Ronald Reagan on it. Its channeling dead people.