My wife told me I had to give up drinking
So I joined the AA.
Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.
How do southerners speak of addiction recovery? With drawl
A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said "I stand corrected".
To clarify: teachers are not "off for the summer" they are in recovery.
Did you hear about the Brazilian percussionist who was severely injured in a conga line?
He made a maraca-ulous recovery.
It came to me while in the elevator. I’m sorry.
President Trump's doctor is telling the public to prepare for the worst.... A full recovery
Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..." Makes me wonder why though. They obviously weren't answered.
Colonoscopy A man gets released from his first colonoscopy into the recovery room. His wife and doctor arrive bedside to discuss the results of his operation. Before the doctor can open his mouth, the wife says "Did you find his head?"
I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at. It really brought back a lot of memories.
I was revising an essay the other day... when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.
An amputee got to a particularly tough spot in his recovery... I guess you could say he got stumped.
So sad! It's so sad that after all he has been through kevin hart will face fines on top of the medical bills. If only he had been in the proper booster seat! ( Mr. Hart if you read this, I wish you a speedy recovery. Prayers for you and your family!)
A guy walks into a recovery room after donating blood.
A woman asks him how he feels.
Guy: I feel fine, but I doubt it would help someone.
Woman: why do you have to be so negative?
Guy: I can’t help it. It’s in my blood.
President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19 Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.
Is the officer from the McKinney police video... Applying for the role of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3? That recovery off the tuck and roll was impeccable.
After the operation, there was good news and bad news...
"Give me the bad news first, doc."
"The surgery was a complete success, and you are expected to make a full recovery."
"Wait, then what's the good news?"
"It's April Fool's Day."
I heard that a small Cessna crashed into a cemetery in Newfoundland. They count over 200 victims since recovery efforts started.(a joke from my newfie neighbor)
My computer told me to enter the Space Bar... ...I couldn't do it because I'm an alcoholic in recovery.
I just had a scoliosis correction surgery When I woke up, the doctor said "well, now that we've got that all straightened out, we can focus on recovery"
It's not that I'm illiterate It's that I used to be hooked on phonics and recovery is a process.
I'm starting a recovery program for people addicted to conspiracy theories. Its called Qanon anon.