The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible... I'm sad as a coconut.
A man and wife see a drunk guy
“Ah, look at Patrick.” says the wife.
“Who’s Patrick?” says the husband.
“The drunk guy, you know, we were a couple 10 years ago and he proposed to me back then. But I rejected him.”
“Good to see he’s still celebrating.”
I heard my ex girlfriend needs a new kidney
I'm not worried, her body hasn't rejected an organ in 25 years.
-Tom Cotter
I used to get rejected about 50% of the time, but then I finally found the one and got married. Now it's more like 90%
I wanted to donate blood, but they rejected me.
They asked if I was positive.
I said "Yes, I'm sure of it"
I once knew a vampire who refused to drink blood
He would satisfy his cravings with fake blood, which his body rejected and he ended up dying from it.
I asked him on his death bed how the fake blood tasted and he said "a little irony"
I applied for art school
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
A Rich man sent a medicine shipment to Somalia
Once it reached the Airport inspection, Customs rejected it and sent it back;
the instructions on the medicines said : after meal
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa
They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them.
Why was Gandhi thrown out of the orchestra? He rejected the violins.
I just found that my ex-girlfriend needs a kidney transplant
But I'm not worried, because her body hasn't rejected any organ in the last 5 years
-- Credits to Tom Cotter
Shia Labeouf got rejected for a job he applied for...
During a practice run he caused negative results.
Apparently he wasn't what the suicide hotline was looking for.
A man leaned sadly against a wall.
His friend came up to him.
Friend: "Hey, whatcha doing?"
Man: "Practicing being rejected."
Friend: "By yourself?"
Man: "I asked a girl if she could help me, and she said no!"
My submission for a new drug name was rejected by big pharma. I don't know why. 'Dyquickr' is a perfectly good name for a cholesterol lowering medication.
My crush rejected me for being a Math nerd. I was 2^2 to ask her out.
Getting rejected by women? Try my new question: "If I were to ask you out, would you say no?" Sometimes it just feels good to get a "Yes".
Gordon Ramsay rejected all the photos taken to showcase his latest menu ... ... they were formatted RAW
How do you know someone went to Harvard?
They won't stop talking about how they went to Harvard.
How do you know someone went to Yale?
They won't stop talking about how they got rejected by Harvard.
A man committed suicide after being rejected at a singing competition... He just couldn't face the music.
My cross fit application was was rejected Bad form
Where did the pirate go to college? Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.
If I had $1 for every time a girl has rejected me... I wouldn't be single anymore
Got rejected by my dentist during a check up. My fillings were hurt.
I always look to the positives in life. For example, sure I may have been rejected from the girl of my dreams, but at least I'm another day closer to my death.
The Bank just rejected my loan request to start a magnet themed attraction park. They were repelled by the concept.
Got rejected from the daycare centre when I applied for a job last week "Former priest" is apparently not a sufficient qualification
An actor had been struggling to find work . . . He would get repeatedly rejected from every audition. One day he tried out for a role as a vampire. The casting director told him he had never seen anyone suck so bad.
Husband and wife went for a job interview.
In the evening...
Wife: How was your interview today?
Husband: I was rejected!
Wife: Why?
Husband: Because the first button of my shirt was open.
Wife: Strange! I have been selected for the same reason.
A girl rejected a man’s hypothesis that he was good in bed It’s because she thought his P was too small
I keep getting rejected.
First my parents
Then my girlfriend
And now my blood.
Wife and Husband
A husband and wife are at a party.
Wife:Look at that drunk guy
Husband:Who is he?
Wife:Ten years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him
Husband:And he is still celebrating.
I'm very sensitive so I always go after the hardcore dominatrixes when trying to get laid on Tinder Being rejected hurts less
Leading Scientists have rejected a controversial paper claiming elementary particle interactions can explain happiness. It's no laughing matter