Sailing Jokes

The Somalian Olympics team has just apologised The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologised to the Olympic Committee after realising that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events!!

Score: 2219
Funny Sailing Jokes
Score: 125

A ship is sailing through the sea... passing by a small island and watches a man screaming and shouting.

A passenger asks the captain:

- Who is he?

- We don't know, he gets crazy every year we pass here.

Score: 67

I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared. I thought, "Thats the biggest wave I’ve ever seen."

Score: 55

My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.

Score: 54

Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events.

Score: 26

An english boat in german waters An english boat is sailing in German waters and the captain says to the coastguards "I'm sinking I'm sinking!". And the coastguard says "What are you sinking about?"

Score: 15

Olympic Sailing results are in! Denmark have taken gold

Finland have taken silver

Somalia have taken a middle aged couple who were on a worldwide cruise

Score: 12

Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter.

Score: 7

Did you hear about the band of roving pirate toddlers? They spend their days sailing the Hi-C

Score: 7

What do you call a group of guys, sailing the sea, singing about looting and stealing? 21 pirates.

Score: 5

Last night, I dreamt that I was sailing in a sea of soda. I wish I could go back to that Fanta sea.

Score: 5

Some pirates are sailing off the coast of Madagascar The captain points to the shore and says to his first mate:

"Do you see those crazy looking lemur things?"

To which the first mate replied:

"Aye aye, I eye aye-aye"

Score: 4

A little wave Two people are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea.

“What’s this?” asked the skipper, “It looks as if someone is drowning!”

“No,” explained his crew, “It’s just a little wave.”

Score: 4

Have you ever had the privilege of sailing across the North Atlantic Sea? Neither has the Titanic.

Score: 4

It's fine to be enthusiastic about sailing... Just don't go overboard

Score: 4

The head of the 2016 Somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team... ...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events.

Score: 3

A red ship and a blue ship... A Red ship and a Blue ship were sailing towards each other at full speed in the middle of the ocean and collided resulting in a horrible mess. What happened to the sailors?

...they were Marooned.

Score: 3

Our sailing trip in Maine was going great... until we were capsized by Augusta wind.

Score: 3

An American is sailing in German waters when his boat starts to take in lots of water. Realizing he won't be able to make it to shore, he calls the German Coast Guard.

"I'm sinking, I am sinking!"

The operator replies "Vhat are you sinking about?"

Score: 3

Whats the best profession to have for dating? Arctic sailing, since its always handy for icebreakers.

Score: 3

The first Olympic sailing results are in England has taken gold, France has taken silver and Somalia has taken the boat.

Score: 2

A jumbo jet ditches into the caribbean It was plane sailing from then on

Score: 2

I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day... I have a yacht to learn before my trip.

Score: 2

Wife asks why I'm packing condoms Wife asks: "Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?" I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

Score: 1

At first I found flying a Boeing 747 on top of water hard But soon after it was plane sailing.

Score: 1

Was talking to a friend about sailing And he said today is going to be 15 knots, I replied “that’s probably enough to tie a boat down”

Score: 1

Exhausted, we'd been sailing for mainland Alaska for days when I was sure we spotted it ... Alas, it was just an Aleutian

Score: 1

4:44 looks like a kid and it's parents sailing.. Guess it depends on AM or PM, and if you're drunk or not

Score: 1

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