I overheard Oedipus swearing like a sailor... ...so I asked him, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
What do you call it when a sailor loses his virginity? First mate.
What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon
What is a sailor's favorite letter? From his wife back home
I love pirating music! "What Should We Do with a Drunken Sailor?" is my all-time favorite song
Help! I need activity suggestions. I’m going to hang out with my father, first thing tomorrow morning. He’s a retired Naval officer and an alcoholic. What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning??
What did the cyclops sailor say to his captain? Eye captain
When is a sailor made of wood? When he's a board.
A sailor once asked me if I knew the difference between port and starboard. I said, "No. I've never drank any starboard".
What's a sailor's favorite breakfast? Boatmeal.
Who would have Jay-Z married if he was a sailor? Buoyancy.
A bunch of sailors on a boat want to have a smoke, but don’t have any matches. So one sailor throws one of his cigarettes overboard, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
A Mexican sailor . . . . . . . . is a sea señor
Popeye was a lonely sailor. That explains his huge forearms!
If I were a sailor, I think I’d be pretty bad at puns... Knot!
Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards... ... but he's strong to the Finnish!
What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic? Knot cool
Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms.
A priest, a nun and a sailor walks into a bar The bartender says: "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What did the sailor say when the sea was filled with soda? This must be a Fanta-sea!
How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code.
Say, sailor...
Say, sailor, nice earrings! How much were they?
"$2"
Not bad for a buccaneer.
I'm a sailor There's this new girl conductor at the pier we pulled in yesterday. I wanted to ask her out, but she kept sending mixed signals.
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "you're a tight one."
She replied " 'Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."
What did the sailor say to the prostitute? Land Ho!
What do you call a drunken sailor? Hard to Port.
What DO you do with a drunken sailor? Make a Disney Trilogy featuring an evil Scottish octopus and rake in the money
I don't often tell sailor jokes But when I do they are usually salty.
How well did the sailor do in school? Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.
My brother said he wanted to push a sailor in the water. I disapproved. I said, "That's nautical idea."
Once a ship got stuck in the ocean.
A sailor comes to the captain and asks:
-Captain, do you know where are we heading?
-Off course, my boy!
A sailor and his friend are talking on his recent success.
The friend asks, how did you get so many crabs?
The sailor responds: mermaids
Why did the drowned sailor's wife punch the sand? Because that beach stole her man.
Did you hear about the world's smallest sailor? He fell asleep on his watch.
How do you rob a sailor? A swear jar.
How is a sailor like a student? Their both trying to stay above C-Level
**What did the potsmoking sailor say at 4:20?** It's maritime
Why did the sailor think his wife was cheating on him? Because his boat was filled with seamen.
What did the Australian sailor say to the tiny parasite? Aye mite.