Salmon Jokes

People say smoking will give you diseases. What they don't know is that it cures salmon.

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Funny Salmon Jokes
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My friend is making a lot of easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

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My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes... It’s like shooting fish in apparel...

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I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

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Smoking is a scientific wonder! It kills people, but cures salmon.

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If smoking is so bad for you How come it cures salmon?

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A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The chap behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”.

(It’s a cake day joke—-ugh I’ll see myself out)

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My friend is making easy money by selling photos of salmon dressed in suits. It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

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Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, "Do you sell fish cakes here?"

Bartender: No we don't.

Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday.

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What do you get when you put nutella on salmon? You get salmonella.

Hahahaha...pew pew pew...haha...*begins sobbing*

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What happens when you put Nutella on Salmon? You get salmonella
Sorry if it's a repost. My friends just told me it:)

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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You got salmonella

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What do you call a salmon that's wearing a tie? Sofishticated

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Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you... But what they don’t tell you is that it cures salmon

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If smoking is so supposed to be so bad then why does it cure salmon?

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A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant And the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”

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My other half and I went to a restaurant. I said to the waitress, "Can I have the lemon grilled salmon?"

"Do you want anything on the side?"

I said, "I can't answer that with my wife sitting next to me."

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Everybody says smoking will kill you What don’t tell you is that it cures salmon

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Tracking efficiency in dogs rises 300% when fed diets of salmon. Give it a fish an' see

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The intellectual People say smoking will give you dangerous diseases. What they don't know is that it cures salmon & so on...!

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Everyone tells you smoking will kill you What they don’t tell you is that it cures salmon

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How can smoking be bad for you... it cures salmon.

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Where does a salmon go to deposit a check? To the river bank!

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Why don't salmon watch cable television? They prefer streams.

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What's the difference between salmon and the American democracy? Salmon can be cured.

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Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed? He didnt use the main stream

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A salmon is swimming up a river A salmon is swimming up a river. It hits a wall. Dam.

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- Can I have a kilo of salmon please? - Here we go, it is $25.
- Can I have a plastic bag?
- It is inside.

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Can a salmon be contained? No, but a tuna can.

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I found this great charity that I can donate all my brined salmon to! Lox of Love

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If only aids was a little bit more like a salmon If we’d smoke it, it would be cured

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What's the difference between salmon and cancer? Salmon can be cured.

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What happens when u put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella

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That upscale restaurant received a D grade on their Board of Health inspection Their surf and turf dish was Steak Diane with Salmon Ella.

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You can tune a piano... but you can't Salmon Mandela.

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A man walks into a fish and chips shop... Holding a large Salmon. He asks if they make fish cakes.
"Yes, we do".
He holds up the salmon, and the man at the counter responds:
"I'm sorry, but we can't do that".
"But come on," The man responds. "It's his birthday!"

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A Grizzly has attacked a school! Four are dead! Fortunately, the rest of the salmon are OK and are peacefully continuing upstream.

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