Schizophrenia Jokes

My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.

Score: 982

My girlfriend thinks I have schizophrenia Which is funny, because I don't have a girlfriend.

Score: 118

My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate

Score: 116

Do you suffer from schizophrenia? Just remember you're not alone

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My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and ADHD. Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane.

Score: 84

my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with schizophrenia.. was really worried until i remembered i dont have a psychiatrist lol

Score: 47

Mental illness joke. (I have this illness so I'm laughing at myself) I used to have a beautiful girlfriend who loved and cherished me before I got diagnosed with Schizophrenia Then they put me on some pills and she disappeared

Score: 26

People tend to avoid me, since I have schizophrenia... But at least I have each other.

Score: 17

My roommate thinks I have schizophrenia Which is weird because I live alone.

Score: 15

People always tell me I have schizophrenia But the voices in my head say otherwise

Score: 14

My psychiatrist sent me the bill for diagnosing me with schizophrenia. I think we'll split the cost.

Score: 11

Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia? He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy.

Score: 9

My roommate says I have schizophrenia But jokes on him I don't even have a roommate

Score: 9

Any subreddits to help you cope with schizophrenia? Asking for a friend

Score: 8

A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have? Schizophrenia.

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Doc, is it true? Do I have schizophrenia? Jim, who are you talking to?

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Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask.

Score: 6

If you suffer from mental illness, it always helps to remember you are not alone. Unless the mental illness is schizophrenia

Score: 6

A short poem about schizophrenia. Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm schizophrenic

And so am I.

Score: 6

I don’t think my girlfriend likes my schizophrenia meds Because every time I take them she goes away

Score: 6

I thought I had schizophrenia. Turns out it was my wife saying: "You treat me like I don't exist."

Score: 5

On the bright side of schizophrenia At least you’re never alone

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My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia. But the good news is I started seeing someone.

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The thing I like about the dark is You could be standing in front of an axe murderer and not know it until you’re chopped up or you take your schizophrenia medicine.

Score: 4

My wife has schizophrenia She thinks she has a husband.

Score: 3

Roses are red Violeta are blue
I have schizophrenia
And so do I

Score: 3

What do you call a religious man with schizophrenia? A priest

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When I was younger I thought I had schizophrenia... I guess it was all in my head

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I was thinking about getting rid of my schizophrenia... ...but now I'm having second thoughts.

Score: 3

Two friends are sitting at a bar, one has schizophrenia. Suddenly the schizophrenic starts bursting out laughing, and it takes a few minutes for him to calm down. When he finally does, he says "sorry, it's a inside joke".

Score: 3

A man with Schizophrenia says: "I used to be Schizophrenic... but now we're better."

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I went to an art event this morning, and this painting really SPOKE to me... I then remembered that I forgot to take my schizophrenia medication.

Score: 1

I heard a good schizophrenia joke .... there it is again

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