What is the difference between Will Smith and Scotland ? Independence Day
The E.U has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country after Brexit. I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.
Scotland's Independence
David Cameron has said Scotland could become a third world country if they become independent.
I'm not sure if things will improve to that degree, but you never know
2 Big Ladies So two large ladies with heavy accents walk into a local pub, the guy next to them asked, "Are you two ladies from Scotland?" and they screamed, "WALES!" and then the guy said, "Sorry my bad, are you two whales from Scotland?"
So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.
I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"
The Queen hosts a garden party in Scotland.
The Scottish waiter arrives carrying a tray with many cakes on it. Queen asks, “Is that a scone, or a meringue?”
The waiter replies: “Naw, yer quite right, that’s a scone.”
Are you two ladies from Scotland?
- It is Wales, you idiot!
- I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?
Not sure if this will work outside of Scotland...
Two cows in a field, which one is on holiday?
- the one with the wee calf
Three heftier women enter a bar and order their drinks. The bartender says, "Y'all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?"
They glare at him and one says, "Wales."
He says, "Ok... You whales from Scotland?"
A man comes across some rather large women...
He overhears them speaking with an interesting accent:
Man: "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?"
Ladies: "No, Wales."
Man: "Oh, I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
Someone stole all the toilets from Scotland Yard Police have nothing to go on.
What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman? A pregnant woman is in Labour
I secretly love men from Scotland... It's my kilty pleasure.
Call me racist if you want but south of the border is a sea full of violence, incompetence and present uncertainty. Wouldn't touch it with a pole. I just thank my lucky stars I live in Scotland.
An Englishman walks into a pub in London
As he approaches the bar he hears two women speaking with heavy accents.
"Are you ladies from Scotland?" He asks.
"It's Wales, actually!" One of the woman replies.
"Sorry." says the man "Are you whales from Scotland?"
Scotland might not leave the EU... but Theresa May.
I hear Scotland is trying to leave the UK again... Well if at first you don't secede, try try again.
Scotland is like Iraq A little but Sunni, but an awful lot Shiite.
Based on the Scotland vote results... It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free.
The UK is leaving the EU and because of that, Scotland is moving for another Independence Referendum... So the english are going to get away scot free!
Are you girls from Scotland? "Wales, idiot." "Oh sorry. Are you whales from Scotland?"
Why is cliff front property so expensive in Scotland? The sheep back up harder.
I heard something crazy the other day apparently making alcohol in scotland is whiskey business
Top Joke in Scotland
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
The Scotland football team went to visit an orphanage in Kazakhstan this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Anatoly, aged 6.
With Japan beating Scotland in the rugby World Cup they just need to beat England They already have a good record against whales
Scotland is a place filled with angry people. Even their flag is cross.
Three heftier women enter a bar and order their drinks.
The bartender says, "You all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?"
The glare at him and one says, "Wales."
He says, "Ok... You whales from Scotland?"
Three heavy-set women enter a bar and order their drinks.
The bartender says, "You all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?"
They glare at him and one says, "Wales."
He says, "Ok... You whales from Scotland?"
News just in. There are reports that all the toilets have been stolen at Scotland Yard. Police say they have nothing to go on.
What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2018? The Scotland National Team.
If someone from Scotland gets a little upset every time he's mistaken for his Gaelic neighbors... ...he would still be ire-ish.
Sturgeon and Salmond are calling for a referendum Something Fishy is going on over in Scotland.
If there's one thing I love about Scotland.... It's the M6 motorway back to England.