Seafood Jokes

What is Hitler's favorite thing to eat? Not seafood.

Score: 129
Funny Seafood Jokes
Score: 116

A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm. "do you make fish cakes?"
"Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...
"Great" says the man, ït's his birthday"

Score: 68

What's Luigi's favorite dish at a seafood restaurant? It's a Cala-Mario!


I thought of this joke while I was dreaming one night and laughed myself awake.

Score: 41

A guy walks into a seafood store carrying a crab, and he asked the owner, "Do you make crab cakes?" And the owner said, "Yes we do."...So the guy said, "Good because it's his birthday."

Score: 22

Did you hear about the oyster who was breakdancing at the seafood disco? He ended up pulling a mussel

Score: 17

My girlfriend left me today because I quit taking her to seafood restaurants. Turns out she was only with me because of my mussels.

Score: 15

Japanese fish markets Latest reports indicate that Tokyo city fish markets have had a sudden influx of seafood. The market increase includes mostly crushedasians.

Terrible, I know.

Score: 14

I didn't really want to go to the seafood buffet... ...but I just went for the halibut

Score: 12

What kind of food can't blind people eat? Seafood.

Score: 12

Did you hear about that car that runs on seafood? I heard it's very efishient

Score: 11

As a blind man, I have a hard time eating fish. I can't seafood.

Score: 10

Why can't blind people eat fish? cuz it's seafood

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What did the blind man use to cure his illness? Seafood.

Score: 8

What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share? Shelfish

Score: 7

Today I got bored and went to a seafood restaurant... [OC- would like opinions] Just for the halibut.

Score: 6

Just back from that seafood disco. Pulled a mussel!

Score: 6

What did the policeman shout when he caught seafood thieves red-handed? NOBODY MOVE A MUSCLE.

Score: 6

What do you call an actor who hauls seafood? Carrie Fisher.

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i went to a seafood disco once... And I pulled a mussel.

Score: 5

One time I told my blind Nana to go on a seafood diet... She died a week later.

Score: 5

Sushi ...the rolls-rice of Asian seafood

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That's the last time I eat seafood. It made me feel a bit...eel.

Score: 5

When do cannibals eat seafood? When there is a shipwreck next to their island.

Score: 5

Did ya’ll hear about the domestic disturbance at the seafood restaurant? Apparently three fish got battered!

Score: 5

What’s a Jewish comedian’s favorite type of seafood? Fish schticks

Score: 5

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself, that's shellfish.

Score: 5

What happens when you eat too much seafood? You begin to feel a little eel.

Score: 4

I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel.

Score: 4

I am on a seafood diet Every time I see food, I eat it.

Score: 4

What's your mom's favorite seafood resturant? Captain D's Nutz

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I went to a seafood disco last night I think I pulled a mussel

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Why didn't the bee want crab legs? He wanted bee-food, not seafood!

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TIFU By forgetting my wife was allergic to seafood when I got her supper from Subway Woops, wrong Sub.

Score: 1

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