Hilarious Senior Citizen Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home. "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Herman said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

Score: 1936

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway... when his wife called his cell phone.

"Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said the man, "It's hundreds of them!"

Score: 317

A senior citizen is sitting at a bar.. A young woman walks in and sits down a couple seats over. The old man gets up, shuffles over to her, leans over and asks "So, do I come here often?"

Score: 73

Where do senior citizens often go to the restroom? Depends.

Score: 33

Driving down the highway So this senior citizen was driving down 93 when his wife called him on the phone. "Be careful! I just saw on the news there's a car driving the wrong way on the highway!"

"It's not just one car, it's hundreds of 'em!"

Score: 31

What do you call it when a guy named Jerry sleeps with three senior citizens in a nursing home in one night? A Jerry Hat Trick

Score: 14

What was the radioactive senior citizen's super power? Gramma Rays

Score: 8

Help us choose a new name for our nonprofit. We're teenagers in China and Japan helping senior citizens. Apparently 'Youth in Asia for the Elderly' isn't having the effect we thought it would.

Score: 7

A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home "Sheldon, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Sheldon said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

Score: 7

There is a new site for senior citizen dating. Its called "I've fallen in love and I can't get up."

Score: 4

What do you call senior citizens with erectile dysfunction training for the summer games? Oldlimpdick athletes.

Score: 3

Apparently my grandma slept with a lot of men to get where she got President of her senior citizen's club

Score: 3

What's the best way to ensure that Asia's senior citizens' pension programs are financially sound? Sufficient amount of youth in Asia.

Score: 2

My friend said he went down on a senior citizen. I asked him what it tasted like and he said,
Depends.

Score: 2

What does it taste like to go down on a senior citizen? Depends.

Score: 1

What did the cop say to senior citizen he caught stealing Depends? 'Ur in trouble.

Score: 1

I’m going to open a night club for senior citizens. The Soft Rock Cafe

Score: 1