I once attended a sermon at a church in Finland. The congregation must have been huge Mortal Kombat fans because they were singing a Finnish hymn.
What do you call a priest's sermon that takes too long? The Reverending Story
I went to a sermon because they said they had free wifi. But they didn't, I couldn't connect to the promised LAN.
The Tomato Pastor began his sermon to the Salad Congregation "Lettuce pray"
A man sees two alter boys behind a church sitting on a block of ice. He says "what are you two doing here sitting on a block of ice?". An alter boy replies "The priest likes a couple of cold ones after a sermon."
A preacher visits a prison to give a sermon.
All the inmates attend the service.
The preacher opens with
"It brings me joy to see you all here"
What do you call a priest giving a long, boring sermon? An anes-theologist. (close enough)
Sunday morning, a man bursts into church and interrupts the sermon, shouting "It's a miracle! I'm walking! I'm walking!" "What happened?" the preacher asked. "They stole my car" the man replied.
That Catholic priest just touched me with his amazing sermon.
A woman walked into a church wearing slippers and a snuggy and started playing on her phone during the sermon. The preacher called her out for idle worship.
An older pastor gives an unusually long sermon. After the three hour service, he’s asked why. “I was running very late today and accidentally put my wife’s dentures in and couldn’t stop talking.”
How does a pastor with a lisp give a sermon? Spray and pray.
What did the Christian Gangsta Printer say when the Father Fax Machine was giving a sermon? "Man, he be spittin' straight facts!"