Sherlock Holmes Jokes

Funny Sherlock Holmes Jokes
Score: 1867

Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes is inspecting a bed. He says to Watson, "this bed is missing something." Watson replies "no sheet sherlock."

Score: 233

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting... To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

Score: 185

Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions.

Score: 85

Why doesn't sherlock holmes ever drink tea made in hospitals? He really hates more ER tea

Score: 25

Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar. The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison.

Score: 12

I wonder if Sherlock Holmes is good at his taxes... He's great at making deductions.

Score: 10

Watson didn't make much money working for Sherlock Holmes Too many deductions

Score: 10

Ordered a Sherlock Holmes game online... Received a podiatric prosthesis instead...

Must unravel this strange mystery.

The game is afoot.

Score: 10

How does Sherlock Holmes use the bathroom? By process of elimination.

Score: 9

Why did Sherlock Holmes visit a Mexican restaurant? Because he was looking for a good case idea.

Score: 8

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet? He de-deuces.

Score: 7

Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes... "Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"

"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"

Score: 6

Sherlock Holmes walks into his house with a basket full of lemons. Watson asks, "Where did you get so many lemons?"

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, Watson.."

Score: 5

What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test? Watson?

Score: 5

Watson, Sherlock Holmes's faithful assistant, asked, "What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?" Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

Score: 4

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out hunting some rocks Sherlock picks up a rock, admiring it. Watson asks, "What kind of rock is that? Igneous?"

Sherlock replies, "Sedimentary, my dear Watson. Sedimentary."

Score: 4

Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS. He had too many deductions.

Score: 4

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door." "Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Score: 4

A kid ask his slightly deaf father about Sherlock Holmes -Dad, do you know who was Sherlock Holmes' best friend?

-What son?

Score: 4

Which question does Sherlock Holmes ask when he is bored? Watson TV?

Score: 4

Dr. Watson turned to Sherlock Holmes and asked what’s your favourite tree Sherlock. “It’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson”

Score: 4

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room? Because it was More ER Tea.

Score: 3

Sherlock Holmes faced a tax audit because... all his clever deductions made the tax office very suspicious.

Score: 2

Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured? It's elementally, my dear Watson.

Score: 2

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ? An Investigator.

Score: 2

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom? OC By process of elimination.

Score: 2

Why was Sherlock Holmes such a successful detective in Australia? Because he had a good eye.

(Read out loud)

Score: 2

Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case... Doggy Sherlock: Any leads?
Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two.
Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.

Score: 2

Sherlock Holmes smeared lemons over Dr. Watson's backside "Why are you doing that, Holmes?" Dr. Watson asked.
"Lemon-entry my dear Watson", Holmes replied.

Score: 2

I wonder if Sherlock Holmes is good at his taxes? His deductions are phenomenal.

Score: 0

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