Shrimp Jokes

Funny Shrimp Jokes
Score: 56

I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret Or United States of America.

Score: 34

Where do shrimp go to buy cheap things ? A prawn shop.

Score: 26

So this one time I offered some shrimp to this Jewish friend of mine... Me: This shrimp is great. Wanna try some?

Friend: Sorry, I'm Jewish.

Me: No, it's free!

*from a comic by Cyanide and Happiness*

Score: 24

Sad moment today when I ran over a box of shrimp Road Krill

Score: 21

Why did the Australian fisherman get kicked out of the toy store. Because he was throwing shrimp on the barbie.

Score: 16

What do shrimp wear in the kitchen? A-prawns

Score: 12

Why don't shrimp give anything to charity? Because they're shellfish.

Score: 11

I once saw a Shrimp finish third in the Olympics... They gave him the Prawns Medal

Score: 10

Why did the Australian get kicked out the toy store? For throwing shrimp on the Barbie

Score: 8

What do they call shrimp killing a bunch of other shrimp? A krilling spree!

Score: 7

What's the cheapest place to buy shrimp? A prawn shop.

Score: 7

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce? Because they were both too Shellfish.

Score: 6

What does Sean Connery call a shrimp that won't share? Shellfish.

Score: 6

What does a depressed shrimp do to escape the pain? He Krills himself.

Score: 6

My cousin's allergic to shellfish, and I laughed as I told him I put shrimp in his soup. You should've seen his reaction....

Score: 6

Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans I guess they were accident prawn

Score: 5

Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine

Score: 5

What kind of shrimp does Chris Brown like? Battered shrimp.

Score: 5

Why didn't the shrimp share his food?? He was a little shellfish

Score: 5

My friend loves shrimp so much that she's gonna have a shrimp party without inviting anyone She's becoming shelfish

Score: 5

What’s worse than having a shrimp on your piano? Having a crab on your organ.

Score: 5

Why didnt the shrimp let anyone else eat? He was being SHELLFISH

Score: 4

Why didn't the shrimp share its toys? Because it was shellfish

Score: 4

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys? Because he is a little shellfish.

Score: 4

What Did The Jumbo Shrimp Say To The Jumbo Crab? "Looks like you've got me in a pinch."

Score: 4

Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery It's shellfish.

Score: 4

Why won't shrimp share its treasure? Because it is shellfish

Score: 4

Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his snack? He was shellfish.

Score: 4

Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish.

Score: 3

What did one Shrimp say to the other? "We're all just Prawns."

Score: 3

A shrimp and a lobster are seated to next to each other on a plane. Not long into the flight the frustrated shrimp turns to the lobster and says, "Stop taking up so much room! You are being too shellfish!"

Score: 2

Where do you go to buy and sell shrimp? The Prawn shop

Score: 2

Was a wedding planner to a Mermaid couple once, but got such a terrible review Apparently serving shrimp cocktails at the reception was not such a good idea

Score: 1

I’m particular about who prepares my food. I walked out of a Chinese place when they told me a shrimp fried their rice.

Score: 1

What do Godzilla and shrimp have in common? They both crustaceans

Score: 1

What's it called when a shrimp kills another shrimp? A krilling spree

Score: 1

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