I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret Or United States of America.
Where do shrimp go to buy cheap things ? A prawn shop.
So this one time I offered some shrimp to this Jewish friend of mine...
Me: This shrimp is great. Wanna try some?
Friend: Sorry, I'm Jewish.
Me: No, it's free!
*from a comic by Cyanide and Happiness*
Sad moment today when I ran over a box of shrimp Road Krill
Why did the Australian fisherman get kicked out of the toy store. Because he was throwing shrimp on the barbie.
What do shrimp wear in the kitchen? A-prawns
Why don't shrimp give anything to charity? Because they're shellfish.
I once saw a Shrimp finish third in the Olympics... They gave him the Prawns Medal
Why did the Australian get kicked out the toy store? For throwing shrimp on the Barbie
What do they call shrimp killing a bunch of other shrimp? A krilling spree!
What's the cheapest place to buy shrimp? A prawn shop.
Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce? Because they were both too Shellfish.
What does Sean Connery call a shrimp that won't share? Shellfish.
What does a depressed shrimp do to escape the pain? He Krills himself.
My cousin's allergic to shellfish, and I laughed as I told him I put shrimp in his soup. You should've seen his reaction....
Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans I guess they were accident prawn
Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine
What kind of shrimp does Chris Brown like? Battered shrimp.
Why didn't the shrimp share his food?? He was a little shellfish
My friend loves shrimp so much that she's gonna have a shrimp party without inviting anyone She's becoming shelfish
What’s worse than having a shrimp on your piano? Having a crab on your organ.
Why didnt the shrimp let anyone else eat? He was being SHELLFISH
Why didn't the shrimp share its toys? Because it was shellfish
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys? Because he is a little shellfish.
What Did The Jumbo Shrimp Say To The Jumbo Crab? "Looks like you've got me in a pinch."
Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery It's shellfish.
Why won't shrimp share its treasure? Because it is shellfish
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his snack? He was shellfish.
Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish.
What did one Shrimp say to the other? "We're all just Prawns."
A shrimp and a lobster are seated to next to each other on a plane. Not long into the flight the frustrated shrimp turns to the lobster and says, "Stop taking up so much room! You are being too shellfish!"
Where do you go to buy and sell shrimp? The Prawn shop
Was a wedding planner to a Mermaid couple once, but got such a terrible review Apparently serving shrimp cocktails at the reception was not such a good idea
I’m particular about who prepares my food. I walked out of a Chinese place when they told me a shrimp fried their rice.
What do Godzilla and shrimp have in common? They both crustaceans
What's it called when a shrimp kills another shrimp? A krilling spree