What do you call a laser-equipped skunk? Pepé Le Pew Pew Pew!
Jim and Sarah were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Sarah. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, the skunk will get used to it."
It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be a paramedic.
My friend and I were in the car the other day and I said I smelled weed. He said 'It's just a skunk' Can you believe it? He thought a skunk was smoking weed.
3 Animals Feast
A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay;
The skunk didn’t have a scent,
The deer didn’t have a buck,
So they put the meal on the duck’s bill
Why did the skunk cross the road? To get to the odor side.
What do you call a flying skunk? A smelly-copter
What do you call the Skunk who wears khaki's and goes to private school? Preppy le Pew
What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender
How much money does a skunk have? One scent.
What’s worse than a skunk on a piano? A diseased beaver on your organ
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court!!!
What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine? "Sir" from a distance.
What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk? Law and odor.
What do you get when you cross a cop and a skunk? Law and odor
Skunked
A friend of mine got sprayed by a skunk at work today, saying it looked like a baby skunk. And my reply to her was:
Baby skunk pew pew pew pew pew pew
What did the Italian say when he tested his first successful skunk perfume on a volunteer?
You reek-uh!
OC- as far as I know
I could not resist buying a skunk today at our local pet store. It just made so much scents to me.
What do you call a dead skunk?
A stunk.
My daughter made this up when she was about 7 years old. I thought it was incredible clever.
What did the Skunk say at Church? Let us spray
Did you hear about the skunk that went to church? He sat in his own p-ew
A guy brought home a skunk His wife said: "what did you do ? Where are you gonna keep it?" Guy said: "under the bed" Wife said: "But what about the smell?" Guy said: "f*** it, let him get used to it like I did"
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There's skid marks in front of the skunk.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into court? Odor in the court!
Lawyers and dead skunks
What's the difference between a lawyer and a skunk lying dead in the road?
There are skidmarks leading up to the skunk.
I got sprayed in the chest by a skunk so I had my tiny therapist wash my clothes for me. My shrunk shrink stopped my shirt's skunk stink.
A duck, a skunk & a deer went out to dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
What's black and white and red all over?
Skunk in a blender.
I'll see myself out.
One minute, you're getting drunk as a skunk, then the next minute, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be working for the NHS.
What's black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.
What do you get when you cross an owl with a skunk? Something that smells but doesn't give a hoot!
What do you call a Skunk with a gun? Pepe le pew pew pew pew.
Two friends are meeting in a bar
Friend1: My wife and I got a new pet.
Friend2: Cool, what is it? A cat? A dog?
Friend1: Neither. It is a skunk.
Friend2: Oh gosh. Isn't it smelling totally awful in your home?
Friend1: Well, the pet will have to get used to it.