3 hookers are chatting in a bar The first says "I've worked it so much I can fit a squash up there." The second says "that's nothing, I can stick a melon up mine." The third just smiles and slowly slides down the bar stool.
I was going to eat a spaghetti squash... But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."
I like playing squash The ants hate it.
If there were two vegetarian rappers Could they still have beef? Or would they squash it!
What's the difference between squash and zucchini?
You can't zucchini bugs!
A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.
I Squash soft drink cans for a living
It's soda pressing
Note: just made this up in the shower when I was thinking about how "so depressing" sounds like "soda pressing"
What do you call an edible gourd with a cheeky disposition? A Sass-Squash
What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on? *squash*
This one was from my daughter after dinner.
What did the linguini say to the spaghetti squash?
IMPASTA!
What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!
What do you get if you squash a house? A flat.
What do you get when you mix godzilla and a vegtable garden? Squash
What do you get when bigfoot stomps on your garden? Squash
My dog's name is Butter. one day, I went outside and accidentally stepped on his testicles. Anybody want some butter nut squash?
What is Godzilla's favorite fruit? Squash.
Why did the squash go to the gym? Because she's getting ready for zucchini season
I received a wedding invite soaked in squash today. Turns out I had been cordially invited.
What did the gourd say to the zucchini about their bad relations with a cow. We gotta squash this beef.
How do you turn a pumpkin into a different vegetable? You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash!
What's a vegetables favorite sport? Squash
A squash and melon are talking to each other The squash asks for the melons hand in marriage. The melon says, "I'm very sorry, but I cantaloupe."
I accidentally stepped on one of my friends squash. I feel so bad. He told me not even ten minutes before hand that I'd butternut squash it.
Why did the farmer give the cow a pumpkin? He wanted to squash his beef.
Three girls were in a bar Three girls were in a bar talking a bout how loose they were, the first could fit a cucumber, the second a squash and the third slid down the bar stool
What do you call a squash that can't get married? Cant elope
What do you call a vegan pirate? A squash-buckler!
What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it? You are just jealous of me since I make your spouse scream louder than you!
What did the squash farmer say to the produce thief at the farmers market? You butternut steal my squash!
What is the Hulk's favourite sport? Squash.
What do you call a rotten gourd? A squishy squash.