Hilarious Stand Up Comedy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted to do stand up comedy Well, no one's laughing now

Score: 32

Score: 21

I really hate being a comedian so I broke my legs Guess who’s not doing stand up comedy

Score: 13

I heard some of the jokes on this subreddit don't sit to well with y'all... How 'bout some stand up comedy instead?

Score: 5

I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb

Score: 4

I took my blind friend to go see stand up comedy once after the viewing had ended, he told me that the jokes were so old, lame, and boring that even he could have seen them coming.

Score: 3

I tried doing stand up comedy as a paraplegic It didn’t work out

Score: 3

Stand Up Comedy Yes, I actually did some stand up comedy, but I didn't like it... every time I would get up on stage to do my routine, all people ever did was laugh at me...

Score: 2

looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate

Score: 2

A murderer tried stand up comedy and he killed it.

Score: 2

I bought a Rolex before trying & failing at stand up comedy. Apparently you need more than impeccable timing.

Score: 2

A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time... Let's just say he was the bomb.

Score: 2

I used to want to do stand up comedy. Both my legs and dreams were crushed the next day

Score: 2

My chiropractor recently started doing stand up comedy He really cracks me up.

Score: 2

I was doing stand up comedy at my school's ceremony They thought I was used as an example by the drug awareness campaign

Score: 2

Whats the opposite of stand up comedy? A sitcom.

Score: 2

My leg is going to be removed tomorrow. What's something I should do while I still have it? Stand up comedy.

Score: 2

what do you call it when you push gran down the stairs and laugh when she can't get up stand up comedy

Score: 2

Did you hear about the hair dryer that tried stand up comedy? He blew it

Score: 1

I saw the funniest two person stand up comedy act last night!! Definitely not gonna miss the next *presidential debate*

Score: 1

The trouble with comedy I thought seriously about doing stand up comedy, and thought no way, what if they laugh at me?

Score: 1

A list of two things people in wheelchairs hate: Stand up comedy

Stairs

Score: 1

I tried stand up comedy once I got kicked out for “interrupting”.
Apparently you aren’t supposed to shout “comedy” during someone’s performance

Score: 0