What was the statistician's fetish? Let's just say he had the standard deviation.
Three mathematicians go hunting. As they are out hunting, they see a bird. The numerical analyst fires, but misses to the left. The applied mathematician fires and misses to the right. The statistician shouts out, "We hit it!"
My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph.
When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag. He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."
3 statisticians go hunting They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"
A mathematician, a physicist, and a statistician are out hunting When they spot a deer. The mathemician shoots five feet to the left and misses. The physicist shoots five feet to the right and misses. The statistician yells, "We got em!"
What do you call a statistician with two butts? Biased.
A statistician drowned in a pool that was 3 foot deep on average.
The law of averages
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
They spot a deer and the biologist shoots and misses left by three feet. The chemist shoots and misses right three feet. The statistician shouts "WE HIT IT !"
A chemist, a biologist, and a statistician are out hunting... The chemist spots a deer and takes a shot at it, but misses by 5 feet to the left. The biologist then fires but misses by 5 feet to the right. The statistician then proclaims "We got 'em!"
What is a Statistician's preferred method of killing people ? Poisson Distribution
Heard about the statistician who liked to kick back with his feet in the oven and his head on a bucket of ice? On the average, he was quite comfortable.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting... The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”
Why shouldn't you share your food with a statistician? Because they always want a large sample
Did you hear about the perverted statistician? Standard deviation wasn't enough for him anymore...
Three statisticians go hunting
They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.
The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird
The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird
The third statistician shouts "We got it!"
A wise statistician once told me: Be thankful you have more hands than average.
A Biologist. A Chemist. And A Statistician are out hunting. The Biologist shoots a deer and misses 5 ft to the left. The Chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right. The Statistician yells "We got him!"
What does a statistician call all the dogs in the world? A pupulation
Did you hear about the statistician that drowned? Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet.
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably
What happened to the statistician who was arrested? He now has zero degrees of freedom.
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting... ...The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
Why did the statistician take a bomb on a plane? Because the odds of there being 2 bombs on the plane was practically 0
What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes? Discreet uniform distribution
I asked out a statistician on a date. She failed to reject me.
A mathematician and a statistician wrote a cook book together. It was called "Pi A LA Mode".
Three Statisticians Walk Into A Bar...
The bartender asks them "Would you all like a drink?"
The first statistician says "Maybe".
The second statistician also says "Maybe".
The third statistician then smiles, and says "Yes!"
statistician boards plane with a bomb the probability of there being two bombs on a plane is much lower
What did the Chinese statistician use to tally the number of Swedish bands? An ABBAcus
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician were out hunting... The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was three feet deep on average.
What does a climate change scientist and a statistician dance to? Al Gore-Rhythms