Ted Cruz Jokes

Funny Ted Cruz Jokes
Score: 412

Well... there goes Ted's reputation Trump: No one embarrasses themselves on Twitter like I do

Ted Cruz: Hold my milk

Trump: Wait, this isn't milk...

Score: 32

What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's dad have in common? They both waited too long to pull out.

Score: 22

Ted Cruz should have been forced to carry his Campaign to term... Terminating it is unchristian afterall

Score: 14

Looks like Ted Cruz got busted... ...bustin'

Score: 9

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common? Neither can achieve an election

Score: 8

What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him? A Ted Bruz

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Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby? They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Score: 4

Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously He always pulls out before finishing

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What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's father have in common? They pulled out too late.

Score: 4

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ? It saves so much time.

Score: 3

What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

Score: 2

Rick Santorum drops out and throws his support to Ted Cruz Thanks for nothing!

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What do Ted Cruz and Senator Stern have in common? They got trumped.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz? Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

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Did you hear the Zodiac is turning himself in? He didn't appreciate the comparisons to Ted Cruz.

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Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon [hope you can decrypt it]

Score: 1

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz? The Devil has standards.

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Some of you may be dismayed by Ted Cruz's recent annoucements But please remember that "pulling out" is the only acceptable way for a Christian to terminate a presidency

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are left on a deserted island, Who survives? America.

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When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.

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