Text Message Jokes

Funny Text Message Jokes
Score: 256

My girlfriend told me I was one in a million... When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right

Score: 196

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day. Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

Score: 110

Help, I think the girl I had my first date with is homeless. I told her to send me a text message when she got home, but it's been days.

Score: 27

A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages

Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?

Score: 19

Just received a text message... Just received a text message telling me I've won a competition! The prizes are £500 cash or front row tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. I don't know if its a scam though?
It says to press 1 for the money and 2 for the show.

Score: 13

Historians have discovered that human rights activist Malcolm X was actually just called Malcolm He was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.

Score: 10

A woman gets a new number She sends a text message to her husband.

W - "Hi honey, this is my new number. Can't wait to see you tonight"

M - "Hey babe. I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with my wife"

Score: 7

Just got a text message but I think it's a scam..... It says congratulations you have won £500 or four tickets to an Elvis tribute act.

press one for the money, or two for the show.

Score: 6

I always feel like I'm wasting a text message whenever I respond with just "K." Now I write "Potassium" instead.

Score: 5

Frozen... Text Message from Wife:
Windows frozen. Won't Open.

Husband:
Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows.

Wife:
Computer really messed up now. Nothing works.

Score: 5

My neighbour showed up at my party last night. Me: My friend Jack is coming as well btw

Them: The cannibal Jack or the Jack that can't spell?

Me \[checks my phone for Jack's text message: I can't wait to meat ur neighbours!\]: Yeah I'm not sure either.

Score: 5

My heart sank when I received the text message "I am breaking up with you. It's over between us" from my partner. But "Sorry, wrong number baby" came afterwards. Whew, what a relief!

Score: 4

I received a text message from an unknown number "I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I met someone else. Please don't call me anymore!"

... Even other people's girlfriends are dumping me now

Score: 4

I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said "Well, that's too bad"

Score: 4

I asked Siri to tell me a joke She replied "You have no new text messages"

Score: 4

Cop: put you hands in the air! Me: lol
Cop: don't f\*kin laugh
Me: \^but.. that's me with my hands in the air\^
Cop: oh ok
Me: So can you really arrest people by text message?

Score: 3

My brother in jail will send text messages They're full of prison slang. I think he's trying to say he's sorry and he loves us but I just don't get the con text.

Score: 2

What does "IDK" on a text message mean? No one that I've asked seems to know!

Score: 2

Why would anyone still use traditional sms text messages when you can just use WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger etc. for free? It's not about the money. It's about sending a message!

Score: 1

A Roman receives a text message.... A Roman receives a text message and looks at it confused. "Why does it end with twenty?" he thinks to himself.

Score: 1

My mom sent her friend a gif via text message. Said to my mother:"even moms are sending memes now days."
Mother said "its the memeing of life.

Score: 1

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