After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes "No hablo ingles"
I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
At first I thought my therapy for Stockholm syndrome was useless But now I kind of like it.
There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial. Its all the rage.
Why did the brake pedal get therapy? It was tired of being depressed.
After 5 years of therapy, my therapist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes. 'No hablo ingles'
At the school petting zoo, the animals all give different things.
The sheep’s give wool to make blankets,
The pigs give therapy for the disabled kids,
And the fat cow gives out homework.
At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown. I never knew I had IT in me.
Took my wife to therapy to fix her Tourette’s syndrome Waste of money that was. Turns out I **am** a c*nt and she **does** want me to f*ck off..!
Kevin Spacey is undergoing conversion therapy and hope to eventually have a normal marriage. He says, "I want to have kids."
My dog just became a therapy dog! I’m so proud! He got his dogtorate!
I don't believe the Rorschach test works, you know the therapy ink block test thing!? I don't know who it is but they keep just painting pictures of my parents fighting
A man told his friend: "After 12 years of... ...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"
I don't need therapy What I need is these squirrels to stop singing Pink Floyd.
How are cancer and pregnancy similar? They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.
Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party
I stabbed twenty people in the supermarket line with thin needles. It's a new type of therapy I'm calling "aqueuepuncture".
My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators. They haven't conducted the first session yet.
What is the most expensive haircut Chemo Therapy
I go to get some therapy
The therapist says, “Where do you see yourself in 14 years?”
I say back, “I dunno, a mirror.”
What do you call a show where people laugh at you while you get your therapy? Dr.Phil
A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy. Youthless
I've been so stressed that I started doing that Chinese needle therapy. You know the one... Heroin.
I saw a sign at the hospital. It said, "Therapy Can Help Torture Victims". I thought, "It's probably not a good idea then."
Here at Goldman and smith therapy office We take the "the" out of psychotherapist
A dad goes to therapy for the suicide of his son.
Therapist: what was the name of your son?
Dad: I believe he said it was, sosickandtiredofthedadjokespleasestoporilljump.
I had a talk with my therapist
Me: you know I feel like people keep cutting me off in life and bursting my bubble so that along with my childhood trauma gave me more than enough reason to come to you for therapy
"Sir this is a McDonalds drive-through"
Gene Therapy
The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.
This is the place for wordplay, right?
My parents sent me to conversion therapy. They wanted me to go from "Pascals" to "Jewels".
I joined a loneliness therapy group... No one showed up.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a therapy pool? Vegetable soup
I don't know where I would be without my wife. But I do know it wouldn't be in a therapy room.
Have you heard of the new successful therapy for ADHD/ADD patients?
It's called Concentration camp therapy.
(Sorry for untasteful reference)
Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy... Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.
I went to college to get a degree in massage therapy Because I want to be a misogynist.
I dreamed I was exercising my injured muscles in a huge reservoir of orange soda It was my fizzy-o-therapy fanta-sea.