When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady... Literally. He can’t catch.
Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.
What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived
Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls. He's won all 5/7.
What’s the difference between Tom Brady and Lance Armstrong? Lance Armstrong cheats with only one deflated ball.
What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry? Quarterback
What do Tom Brady and prostitutes have in common? They both deflate Robert Krafts balls
What do Tom Brady and Rhonda Rousey have in common? Both struggle to last longer than a minute with a Brazilian woman.
How does Tom Brady like his soda? Flat.
Tom Brady now has a perfect track record. He's won 5/7 Superbowls he's been in.
What's Tom Brady's favorite sport? Softball.
Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.
How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose? Deflated.
Tom Brady has a perfect record in the Super Bowl He's 5 out of 7.
Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin. Turns out he's afraid of inflation.
Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated.
How did Tom Brady's feel after losing to the Broncos? Deflated
Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season
What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady
Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner.
(Thank you Dennis Miller)
Tom Brady Tom Brady is now offering subscriptions for his food regimen. I believe that's called cheat day.
Tom Brady missed his opportunity to head into retirement with a Superbowl win. You could say... He dropped the ball.
Tom Brady told me he's on a diet. Well, he didn't actually say diet. He said Sundays are his cheat day, but I can read between the lines.
Tom Brady is a very polarizing sports figure. On one hand, he has FIVE super bowl rings. But on the other hand, he only has one.
How did Tom Brady get $2? He gets a buck n ear.
How does Tom Brady have a bad haircut before every game? He always asks for the Super ‘Bowl Cut’.
Tom Brady got punished more than Ray Rice because he beat a whole team
What is Tom Brady's favorite opera? Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)
After the Super Bowl, Tom Brady tried to mug me.
He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground.
Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.
Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar. None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.
Did you hear how much Tom Brady paid for his new piercings? A Buccaneer.