Tom Brady Jokes

When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady... Literally. He can’t catch.

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Funny Tom Brady Jokes
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Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.

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What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived

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Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls. He's won all 5/7.

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What’s the difference between Tom Brady and Lance Armstrong? Lance Armstrong cheats with only one deflated ball.

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What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry? Quarterback

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What do Tom Brady and prostitutes have in common? They both deflate Robert Krafts balls

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What do Tom Brady and Rhonda Rousey have in common? Both struggle to last longer than a minute with a Brazilian woman.

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How does Tom Brady like his soda? Flat.

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Tom Brady now has a perfect track record. He's won 5/7 Superbowls he's been in.

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What's Tom Brady's favorite sport? Softball.

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Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.

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How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose? Deflated.

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Tom Brady has a perfect record in the Super Bowl He's 5 out of 7.

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Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin. Turns out he's afraid of inflation.

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Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated.

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How did Tom Brady's feel after losing to the Broncos? Deflated

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Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

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What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner.
(Thank you Dennis Miller)

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Tom Brady Tom Brady is now offering subscriptions for his food regimen. I believe that's called cheat day.

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Tom Brady missed his opportunity to head into retirement with a Superbowl win. You could say... He dropped the ball.

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Tom Brady told me he's on a diet. Well, he didn't actually say diet. He said Sundays are his cheat day, but I can read between the lines.

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Tom Brady is a very polarizing sports figure. On one hand, he has FIVE super bowl rings. But on the other hand, he only has one.

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How did Tom Brady get $2? He gets a buck n ear.

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How does Tom Brady have a bad haircut before every game? He always asks for the Super ‘Bowl Cut’.

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Tom Brady got punished more than Ray Rice because he beat a whole team

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What is Tom Brady's favorite opera? Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

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After the Super Bowl, Tom Brady tried to mug me. He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground.

Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.

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Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar. None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.

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Did you hear how much Tom Brady paid for his new piercings? A Buccaneer.

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