A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says "Penguins can't fly."
A photon is going through airport security...
The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.
The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...
The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"
I replied "No, only guns."
A German man visits America for holiday.
The TSA officer asks: "Occupation?"
The man says: "No, only holiday!"
Arrested at the airport
I’m a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model
When i landed in New York the TSA asked me “are you here for business or pleasure”
I responded “I’m here for the new 911”
A photon is going through airport security......
The TSA agent asks if it has any luggage.
The photon says, "No, I am traveling light."
Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport? TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate.
“I found a terrorist!” ....said no TSA agent ever
The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights. They're capable of math destruction.
Comprehensive guide to sneaking knives through TSA.
Worked 7/7 times for me so far with a switchblade.
Step 1: Be white.
Who are the greatest philosophers today? The TSA. They are always asking people, "Who are you?", "Where did you come from?", "Why are you here?", and "Where are you going?"
Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security? It was armed.
On my first day working for TSA we searched a neat, sandwich shaped suitcase. It was jam packed.
I’m not sure why TSA agents tackled me at the airport. All I did was say hi to my friend Jack.
I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb
What do Dentists and the TSA have in common? Cavity checks.
Why do dentists make the worst TSA agents? They're always trying to do a cavity search
Damned TSA If airport security asks you if you have any weapons don't say, "No, I prefer to kill with my bare hands." They don't think it's funny, apparently.
The TSA confiscated my grandmother's knitting needles They were afraid she would make an Afghan.
Another TSA groping scandal? Where will they transfer those Catholic priests next?
Hey, Baby, you work for the TSA? 'Cause I've got a suspicious package, and I need you to blow it.
Why did the dentist think he could work for the TSA He had a lot of experience with cavity searches.
I hear Harvey Weinstein has been fired from his own company. Maybe he'll go to work for the TSA.
I don't understand why the TSA are all over me for greeting my friend Jack. All I said was Hi Jack.
When Big Johnny tried to fly without an ID... ...the TSA diagnosed him with an enlarged prostate.
Photon walks into the airport and TSA asks him if he has any baggage. "No I am traveling light."
A joke about airport security
The TSA.
This concludes the joke about airport security.
What’s a TSA agent’s favorite game? Minesweeper
I went to my dentist today and realized he works for the TSA.... He gave me a full cavity search.
Why couldn't the fiddle player bring his instrument on an airplane? The TSA wants to prevent unchecked violins.