Ukrainian Jokes

An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in "Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"

"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.

"No, only one."

He starts cleaning the rifle again.

Score: 13236

Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.

Score: 146

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

Score: 67

A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border.

The Ukrainian border guard asks, "Name?"

The Russian answers, "Boris."

The border guard asks, "Occupation?"

The Russian says, "No, just visiting."

Score: 43
Funny Ukrainian Jokes
Score: 39

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian speedos? Because Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 16

Tired of people complaining about Ukrainian body's of water that Russia is occupying Crimea river.

Score: 12

I’m really glad that I wasn’t born in Ukraine. I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian.

Score: 9

Do you know why you shouldn't wear Ukrainian underpants? Chernobyl fall out.

Score: 8

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian Speedos? Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 8

Ukrainian underpants Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fall out

Score: 7

Why shouldn't you wear ukrainian underpants? Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 6

A Russian walks into an Ukrainian bar... And farts.

The Russian says, "I'm sorry for Putin."

Score: 5

What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American? Crimea River.

Score: 5

Why shouldn’t you wear tiny shorts on a Ukrainian holiday? Chernobyl fallout

Score: 5

Why shouldn’t you wear Ukrainian underwear? Chernobyl fallout

Score: 5

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear? Chernobyl fall out

Score: 4

Why can’t you wear Ukrainian underwear? Because Chernobyl Fallout.

Score: 4

What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation? A Chernobel Prize.

Score: 3

Ukrainian Police joke Cop asks his sergeant:

\- So, why did you not become commissioner?

\- You know, I wasn't smart enough.

\- Strange. That's usually a plus.

Score: 3

Don't buy Ukrainian boxer shorts Chernobyl fallout!

Score: 3

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear? Because Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 2

How do you find a Ukrainian? With a Geiger counter.

Score: 2

What was Russia's response to the Ukrainian crisis? "Crimea river"

Score: 2

In the 1930s, a Ukrainian farmer was asked "What will the future of this new communist society look like?" The farmer replied "I don't know, but l am dying to find out."

Score: 2

What is long and hard that a Ukrainian woman gets on her wedding night? A last name.

Score: 2

Why shouldn’t men wear Ukrainian underpants? Because Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 2

What do you call an Iranian living in England? A Ukrainian

Score: 2

Don’t buy Ukrainian underwear! Your Chernobyl fall out

Score: 2

Gentlemen, don’t buy Ukrainian underwear! Chernobyl fallout.

Score: 2

I was going to make a joke about the Ukrainian 737. But it would probably crash and burn.

Score: 0

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