I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough"
The boss said "You have a wee cough?"
I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"
Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg Gregorian Calendar.
My boss asked me why I've already been late three times this week I told him because it's only Wednesday
My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her the joke on Wednesday.
People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday
Britain's fattest man has died. The cremation will be next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
I always give 100% at work
14% on Monday
30% on Tuesday
30% on Wednesday
24% on Thursday
2% on Friday
Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday.
Punny wednesday
The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."
The wife said she wanted to go and see
the Jerry Springer show for her birthday.
So I got her sister pregnant!!
We're on next Wednesday!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
Scroll to the end
Monday: Greg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Greg
Saturday: Ian
Sunday: Greg
.
.
.
The Gregorian calendar
The owner of the local cinema died today
His funeral is on:
Monday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15
Tuesday 15:30, 17:15, 19:00
Wednesday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15
Thursday 16:00, 17:45, 19:30
And that's why I never argue with my wife.
Wife : Don't forget to pick up kids from school.
Me : It's Saturday, they're both upstairs.
Wife : It's Wednesday and we've three kids.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days...
Gregorian Calendar Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg Saturday: Ian Sunday: Greg
Sunday: Greg. Monday: Ian. Tuesday: Greg. Wednesday: Ian. Thursday: Greg. Friday: Ian. Saturday: Greg So this is how the Gregorian calendar was created.
Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor... And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!
How to sustain a long marriage
Have two romatic dinners every week.
You can do a lot of things on a romatic dinner, like drinking wine, dancing, watching TV etc.
My wife goes on Monday and Wednesday, I go on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
how can you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke Wednesday.
It was a lot easier to keep track of the days of the week back then
Monday: Greg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Greg
Gregorian Calendar.
Just want to remind all you Trump supporters to get out and vote early on Wednesday.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday... ... Those were the days.
I think as marriages go, we’re doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday
What’s Thanos’ favourite holiday? Ash Wednesday
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday It's going to be one of those days
Boss: you have been absent since 3 days in the week. Do you know what that means? Me: It's Wednesday
What do you call a Wednesday and it’s not raining Dry hump day!
My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
They're predicting record highs for Wednesday. In other news the weather will be hotter than usual.
On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console? Wednesday.
Of course Hugh Hefner died on a Wednesday We call it hump day for a reason.
What do you say when someone does something really random? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
A woman implanted an advanced artificial intelligence into her old Nintendo gaming system so she could legally marry it. When did they get married? On Wednesday
Why does my grandmother use a blue phone on Monday, a green one on theusday, a white one on Wednesday, a gray one on Thursday, a orange one on Friday and a red one on the weekends? To call people.