You Look Like Jokes

Funny You Look Like Jokes
Score: 798

"You look like a million bucks", said Bill Gates disappointedly to his wife.

Score: 385

I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, "Dad, you look like a lobster."

"Oh no," I replied, "Am I burning?"

She said, "No. Just very ugly."

Score: 179

Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."

Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."

[BTW this was original]

Score: 163

Doctor: it looks like you are pregnant madame. Lady: Wow, I'm pregnant?
Doctor: No, but you look like it.

Score: 141

My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her. Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.

Score: 137

4 stages of life.... 1) You believe in Santa.

2) You don't believe in Santa.

3) You are Santa.

4) You look like Santa.

Score: 133

4 stages of life 1. You believe in Santa

2. You don´t believe in Santa

3. You are Santa

4. You look like Santa

Score: 131

I said to my wife, "You look like a million pounds."... I said to my wife, "You look like a million pounds."

"Don't you mean dollars?" she replied.

"I know what I mean," I said.

Score: 41

Girl you look like trash... Let me take you out

Score: 34

Is your name jingle bells? Because you look like you go all the way

Score: 29

A fat guy meets a skinny guy... The fat one says: "You look like there's been a famine."

The skinny one replies: "You look like you caused it".

Score: 19

The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa
2. You don't believe in Santa
3. You dress up like Santa
4. You look like Santa

Score: 14

There's a new cosmetic surgery that makes you look like an Eskimo. You might wanna look Inuit.

Score: 13

Is your birthday the 10th of October? Because you look like a 10/10!

Score: 13

What are the 4 stages of life? 1) First you believe in Santa.
2) Then, you don't believe in Santa.
3) Then you act like Santa.
4) And then you look like Santa.

Score: 8

Hey girl, are you a hot single from my area? Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus

Score: 8

It's not what's on the outside that matters... What matters is what you look like naked.

Score: 7

Hey girl, are you from Tennessee? Cause you look like your parents were siblings.

Score: 7

What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom? Hey you look like a fun guy,


Edit:Sorry i am a dad of a 1yo

Score: 7

What is it called when your son tells you that your skin is so pale that you look like a vampire? A Son-burn

Score: 6

Hey girl, are you one of the hot singles in my area from the ads? Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus

Score: 6

If you look like your passport photo You probably aren't well enough to travel.

Score: 4

You look like yeast “Inbred”

Score: 4

Hey girl, are you one of the hot singles in my area that I saw in an ad? Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus

Score: 4

A truamatizing joke for a single mother to tell their child(ren) "You look like your father, whoever he is."

Score: 4

You look like a trillion German marks in 1929. Huge but also worthless

Score: 3

Girl are you a social cause? 'cause you look like something I can get behind!

Score: 3

Girl, you look like trash. Can I take you out?

Score: 2

A woman said to me, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?" I said, "No, nobody."

She said, "They've clearly never seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

Score: 2

Genetics tells you why you look like your parents And if not why you should

Score: 2

4 Stages of Life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.

Score: 2

Roses are red. Your blood is too.You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo................ Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

Score: 1

If you look like your passport picture... ...you probably need the trip.

Score: 1

Pop music is like a party hat Classic and fun, but you look like a douche if you put it on in the car.

Score: 1

Are you made out of 200 BTC? Because you look like a million dollars

Score: 1

My wife just came in and said "I don't know if I'm coming or going." I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face you're going, because when you're coming you look like a squirrel trying to whistle!”

Score: 1

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