Serial Killer Jokes

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Funniest Serial Killer Jokes

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?". I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

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Funny Serial Killer Jokes
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The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers. At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.

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They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer.... So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him.

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If I was a serial killer my name would be "The suspense" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

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A Serial Killer, Car Thief and Russian Spy walks into a bar And that was just the first guy

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What's the difference between a politician and a serial killer? The serial killer might listen if you plead with them

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What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common? They know how to hide their bodies.

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If I was a serial killer my name would be "The Suspence" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

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I picked up a hitch hiker and he asked, “Why did you pick me up, I could be a serial killer.” I just replied, “The odds of having two serial killers in the same car is astronomical.

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What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences.

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They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer So I pushed Steve off a cliff, just in case it was him.

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How do you stop serial killers? Just arrest one of them, and all of them stop.

This wouldn't work if they were parallel killers.

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Most serial killers are men. That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years.

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What’s the difference between an innocent black guy and a white serial killer? One is on his way to prison, and the other is a white serial killer

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Why are there no female serial killers ?? Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone.

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Today I found out my buddy Vlad is a serial killer... ...so I said: "Vladizlav, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."

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A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer. She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."

He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"

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What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered.

(If you don't get it: "cross" can mean "betray")

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Serial Killer... The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer.

They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence.

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What is a serial killer's favourite muesli topping? Chopped dates!!

(first joke I've ever come up with)

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I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger. He asked “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?” I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.”

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A guy picks up a female hitchiker... And when they're on the road, he jokingly asks "Lady, how do you know I'm not some kind of psychotic serial killer?".

"I dunno, but I guess the odds are pretty low that you're one too.".

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Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it.

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I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed suicide. I said, “Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.”

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What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common? Both of their sheds are filled with hoes.

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There was once a cannibalistic Japanese serial killer who killed and ate my mother. I asked why he would do such a thing. He said, I just love the taste of Umami.

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Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover. She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."

I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

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So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer Killer: "Turn down that dark road."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!

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What's more dangerous than a serial killer? A parallel killer.

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They say one friend in every group has the potential to be a serial killer ...so I threw Dave off a cliff in case it was him.

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Why are serial killers extremely rich? I don’t know, I guess they just always make a killing.

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A Mexican serial killer killed dos people He never even left a tres

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The police were tracking down a serial killer. The police were tracking down a serial killer who would dismember his victims and sell their body parts. He was caught after trying to sell three feet at a yard sale. The bail cost him an arm and a leg.

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My best friend became a serial killer after his girlfriend Ruth left him Now that shes gone, he pretty much became ruthless

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You know what is worst than a serial killer? A parallel killer

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Watching this weird High School Musical sequel on Netflix Zac Efron becomes a serial killer.

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Why should you still be scared of a serial killer who just had one of his arms cut off? Because he still isn't completely 'armless.

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I noticed a serial killer, so I walked up to meet him I was just dying to get his attention

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A serial killer leaves his mark on his victims by cutting off their left hand and right leg. Authorities say something sinister is afoot.

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New Serial Killer Jokes

I told a joke at a serial killers convention It killed.

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I think one in our family is a serial killer. The box with the Frosted Flakes is empty again.

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Find yourself a serial killer called 'The Suspense' So that when you die, you can say 'The Suspense is Killing me', laugh together about it, and then get stabbed to death

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What does a pro fisherman, a serial killer, and a teenager have in common? They’re all Master Baiters.

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I heard they were making a movie about a serial killer duo and their wacky adventures when finding their next victim It's called Dahm & Dahmer.

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Which famous serial killer has a leakage problem? Jack The Dripper.

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I just read that a local serial killer has been handed 20 consecutive life sentences totalling 500 years in prison. What a joke, in today's justice system he'll probably only do half of that.

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Have you heard about that new genius serial killer targeting prostitutes? He has a perfect memory and uses it to track his victims. Once someone’s been abducted, they never get away. His thots never escape him.

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Carl the serial killer was sentenced to death. He requested a steak burrito from Chipotle as his last meal. When asked if he wanted chips and guac he said "yes but hold the guac, it gives me indigestion."


Edit: this was funnier in my head

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There was a serial killer who beheaded his victims. He obviously got a head in life.

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how does a serial killer unwind? netflix and kill

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Why did the serial killer create a Pinterest account? To upload pictures of his coffee table made out of palates

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What do you call a serial killer that killed everyone at a frat house? What do you call a serial killer that killed everyone at a frat house?


The life of the party.

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Say what you will about Elon Musk but with his plans to bring people to Mars, no one is a more creative serial killer.

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What do you call it when a future serial killer's mom has an abortion. A miscarriage of justice

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What do you call a serial killer that works out? Ed Gainz

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Why couldn't E, H, and D hide from the serial killer? Because i died.

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My mexican friend sent me a code about a serial killer . " Ted † "

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