Serial Killer Jokes

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?". I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers. At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.

They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer.... So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him.

If I was a serial killer my name would be "The suspense" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

A Serial Killer, Car Thief and Russian Spy walks into a bar And that was just the first guy

What's the difference between a politician and a serial killer? The serial killer might listen if you plead with them

What do serial killers and fat girls on tinder have in common? They know how to hide their bodies.

If I was a serial killer my name would be "The Suspence" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

I picked up a hitch hiker and he asked, “Why did you pick me up, I could be a serial killer.” I just replied, “The odds of having two serial killers in the same car is astronomical.

What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences.

They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer So I pushed Steve off a cliff, just in case it was him.

How do you stop serial killers? Just arrest one of them, and all of them stop.

This wouldn't work if they were parallel killers.

Most serial killers are men. That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years.

What’s the difference between an innocent black guy and a white serial killer? One is on his way to prison, and the other is a white serial killer

Why are there no female serial killers ?? Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone.

Today I found out my buddy Vlad is a serial killer... ...so I said: "Vladizlav, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."

A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer. She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."

He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"

What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered.

(If you don't get it: "cross" can mean "betray")

Serial Killer... The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer.

They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence.

What is a serial killer's favourite muesli topping? Chopped dates!!

(first joke I've ever come up with)

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger. He asked “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?” I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.”

A guy picks up a female hitchiker... And when they're on the road, he jokingly asks "Lady, how do you know I'm not some kind of psychotic serial killer?".

"I dunno, but I guess the odds are pretty low that you're one too.".

Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it.

I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed suicide. I said, “Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.”

What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common? Both of their sheds are filled with hoes.

There was once a cannibalistic Japanese serial killer who killed and ate my mother. I asked why he would do such a thing. He said, I just love the taste of Umami.

Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover. She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."

I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer Killer: "Turn down that dark road."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!

What's more dangerous than a serial killer? A parallel killer.

They say one friend in every group has the potential to be a serial killer ...so I threw Dave off a cliff in case it was him.

Why are serial killers extremely rich? I don’t know, I guess they just always make a killing.

A Mexican serial killer killed dos people He never even left a tres

The police were tracking down a serial killer. The police were tracking down a serial killer who would dismember his victims and sell their body parts. He was caught after trying to sell three feet at a yard sale. The bail cost him an arm and a leg.

My best friend became a serial killer after his girlfriend Ruth left him Now that shes gone, he pretty much became ruthless

You know what is worst than a serial killer? A parallel killer

Watching this weird High School Musical sequel on Netflix Zac Efron becomes a serial killer.

Why should you still be scared of a serial killer who just had one of his arms cut off? Because he still isn't completely 'armless.

I noticed a serial killer, so I walked up to meet him I was just dying to get his attention

A serial killer leaves his mark on his victims by cutting off their left hand and right leg. Authorities say something sinister is afoot.