Hilarious Ancient Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Ancient Jokes

The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.

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America sure is having some bad luck It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

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The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.

Edit: Hey thanks for the gold stranger!

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The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, You'd almost think the whole country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground

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With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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An ancient Greek walks into a tailors with a torn pair of pants: "Euripides?" Asks the tailor.

"Yeah, Eumenides?" Replies the man.

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Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10

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A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.

The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"

The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

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An Ancient Roman walks into a bar. He sits down and says

"I'll have a martinus please."

"Don't you mean a martini?" The bartender asks

The Ancient Roman replies

"If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

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What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease

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An Ancient Greek man walks into his tailor’s shop with some torn togas... Tailor: Euripides?

Man: Yeah, Eumenides?

EDIT: Yes, I know togas were worn by the Romans. Greeks wore an early version of the toga called the himation, but nobody would get that joke.

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The United States has such bad luck It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

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An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop... ...with a pair of torn pants.

Euripides? Asked the tailor.

Eumenides? Replied the man.

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The United States is always being hit with tragedies and crises like a bad curse... Just as if it was built on top of an ancient Indian burial ground.

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Why did ancient Egyptians shave their heads? To be more pharaohdynamic.

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Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles’ heel but have you heard of Bophades’ nuts?

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An ancient Greek goes up to a tailor... The tailor asks the Greek: "Euripides?"
The Greek replies "Eumenides?"

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With all these natural disasters happening, Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

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America is sure having some bad luck lately It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

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An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor... An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor with a torn chiton, asks the tailor, "Eumenides?"

The tailor responds, "Euripedes?"

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Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives? They didn't want to spread HIV.

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So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

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Ancient Soviet joke Guy turns on the TV and there's Brezhnev making a speech. He changes the channel, there's Brezhnev again, and tries again and on the next channel is a KGB officer saying - 'You'd better stop changing channels'.

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Are u dating anyone? "Are u dating anyone" the assistant asked me."yes obviously " I said with irritation as I analysed the remaining radioactive carbon in the ancient corpse before me

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After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study. It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title “TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE”.
When we opened it, all it contained was gran’s phone number.

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TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

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I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my... Rameses kitchen nightmares.

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Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business? Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.

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Ancient Egyptians invented the 24 hour clock. They didn't know what to call it, so they just called it a day.

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How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut? With little Caesar's.

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How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars

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I decided to try the ancient Chinese practice of using needles to get rid of back pain… The heroin worked a treat for me.

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I love my Ancient History class... But my teacher tends to Babylon.

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"Gymnasium" in ancient Greek means "naked exercise"… …but try telling that to the receptionist at the health club…

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Have y'all heard of the ancient Greek hero Bophades? He was a lot like Achilles, he had one weakness. Except it wasn't his heal, it was his groin. You may have heard the term Achilles heel, but have you heard of Bophades Nuts?

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Do you know that in some ancient American Indian language the word "vegetarian".... ...the word "vegetarian" means "a very bad hunter" ?

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Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions? How irrational.

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What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites? Namaste here.

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What is the worst thing about Ancient History Class? The teachers tend to Babylon

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New Ancient Jokes

What's the best way to find information about Ancient Greek Mathematics? Just type in "Greek Mathology" and you're golden.

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What did Ancient Israelite Soccer Moms make for their families? Bamanna bread!

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TIL there’s ancient Egyptian royalty who used a form of social media avant la lettre Have you guys not heard of Nefertweeti?

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You know, they worshipped felines in ancient egypt They’re called “Aristocats”

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I don’t get why people say the onion is satyr Ancient Greece didn’t have that kind of news outlet

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Which ancient Greek wrote the first book about farts? Euripides

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Dirt samples are found which once belonged to an Athenian It is found in Ancient Grease

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I tried to load an ASCII picture of ice cream on my ancient computer and I succeeded! I got a nice picture of Haagen-DOS

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Ancient Greek philosophy joke It turns out that Diogenes did find one honest person, but this person told Diogenes "quit wasting your time and get a job." and Diogenes didn't want to hear the truth any more than anybody else does.

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A joke for Halloween A group of tourist is visiting the remnants of an ancient castle. One lady sais to their guide:

-I'm afraid. I think there might be ghosts here!

-Don't worry. I'm living here for 300 years but I've never seen any ghosts.

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Karate is the ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

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So these two ancient Egyptian brothers are mummifying their father. After several hours one of the brothers realises how long they've been working. So he turns to his brother and says "Hey, let's wrap this up."

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What toothpaste brand did the Ancient Greeks use? Laurel-B

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America sure is having some bad luck with the recent hurricanes. As if it's built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

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A man walks into a bar in Ancient Rome The bartender asks him how many bottles of wine he wants and he holds up a peace sign. The bartender brings him five bottles.

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What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"

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What did they call the ancient island the Amazons inhabited? Old country for no men.

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Did you know that the Venezuelans use the excrement of a rare species of bovine in an ancient dish passed down from generation to generation? I lied it's all bullshit.

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Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of an ancient civilisation of chalk people. They are now determining when they were wiped out.

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Breaking News: Veteran Egyptologist confirms ancient rectangular object found in 5,000 year old mummy's hands is 2017 Blackberry smartphone "But that's about it" he stated, "and here I thought we'd found something worthwhile"

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What do you get when you cross ancient Chinese philosophy with modern American derivatives markets? Dao Jones.

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What is the favourite game of ancient roman people? Rock Papers CAAAEEEESSSSAAAAAARRRS.

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Vegetarian is an ancient Native Indian word meaning "bad hunter".

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What did ancient Romans say? There will be lead!

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What's the difference between ancient religious texts and fake news? A little over 2000 years

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