Contents
Contents
How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Shout, “I got money on that guy with the knife!”
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
I witnessed the break up of an obese couple I guess they didn't work out.
I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend... Apparently, she was seeing someone else on the side.
I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend Love meant nothing to her
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me
She said, "You act so childish whenever I'm around. Now, it's either 'your mom' jokes or me."
I said, "And I, like so many men before me, will eagerly choose your mom."
Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes. Him: Ok. And for the main course?
What’s the worst way to break up with a blind person? “I think we should see other people”
I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today. She was seeing other people.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. I had to break up with her. She was seeing somebody on the side.
I had to break up with my girlfriend. She was a necromancer. She wanted us to raise a family together.
Britain should have written a break up note "It's not EU, it's me"
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl? You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page...
My girlfriend says she may break up with me because I don't like cats... I told her, "I like cats, I just can't eat a whole one by myself."
Its hard to break up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she understands.
My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups... That's the last time I buy A Dell.
My girlfriend: If you don't stop making Scooby Doo references, then I'll break up with you. Me: Alright gang, let's split up.
Why it feels so hard to break up with a japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn't working out.
Why is it so hard to break up with your Japanese girlfriend? Because you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed space.
How do you break up a fight between two blind people? Yell "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it
Why did Captain Kirk’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he Shatner face.
Why did x and y break up? They couldn't function together.
Break ups are the worst in China. You see her face everywhere.
Why did the harp break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a lyre.
Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye? Because she was seeing somebody on the side.
How do you break up an Al-Quaeda bingo game? Yell "B-52!"
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why did Beethoven's girlfriend break up with him? He would never listen to her.
So, I was dating a Japanese girl... The relationship grew old rather quickly so I decided to break up with her. When I told her, she just stood there in disbelief. It's like you have to drop the bomb twice for them to get the message.
How do you break up with somebody in Italy? It's not you! It's a me, Mario!
We need to break up... ...your busy schedule with some well deserved snuggle time!
Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend? He saw her sucking someone else.
How do functions break up? They stop calling each other.
Did you hear about the guy and girl who mutually decided to break up because the guy had ED? There were no hard feelings.
Why did the two book lovers break up? They weren't quite on the same page.
At first I wanted to break up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like to play video games... It wasn’t really something to Fallout 4.
Why did I break up with my crab? I caught her chitin.
How do you break up with your Chinese Girlfriend. You just delete Wechat.
Why did the strict grammaticians break up? He missed a colon, she missed a period, and they both hated contractions.
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me because 6 inches was not enough for her. I told her "Fine next time I'll get you the footlong subway".
You know what to say if you ever have to break up with a vegan? It's not you, it's meat.
Why did the illegal immigrant break up with her boyfriend? He was an ICE guy.
What do robots say when they break up? Connection failed
She: we need to break up
He: but why?
She: for starters I can't take your jokes anymore.
He: and for main course?
I found out that my girlfriend is a member of the kkk I won't break up with her because her head is on point
Why did 1 break up with 2 after they rooted? Because she became irrational.
Why did the sea otter break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to sea otter people.
I was gonna break up with an ex-girlfriend because she had a Linkin Park poster on her wall But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese person?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for them to understand.
P.S. : Reposting this as some Japanese folks didn't get it the first time around.
What will an astronaut say to his girlfriend to break up with her? "I need some space!"
If you break up with your girlfriend from Maryland Is she your Old Bae?
What did the Spanish Monk say to break up with his girlfriend? No mas stay.
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had bad breathe...
... I guess it just wasn't mint to be.
Edit: Sorry grammar police, I can't edit the title. But thanks for keeping the mean streets clear of unwarranted use of the letter "e".
How do you break up with a tree Leaf me alone, I’m stick of u
Why did Rudolph's girlfriend break up with him? He didn't have a Stable job.
Coordinate planes are kinda like relationships.
You meet a person, decide to take it to the next level, they break up with you, and you wonder why they did.
I guess you could say they are now your x and you’re wondering y
I had to break up with my Seismologist girlfriend. She kept pointing out all my faults.
Why did the guy have to break up with his triplet Wiccan girlfriend? He couldn’t tell which witch was which.
Why physics teacher break up with biology teacher? There was no chemistry
I had to break up with my girlfriend, she doesn't like Star Trek. I told her I need some space.
Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? The trial period was over.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You break up with her
How does a guy from Alabama break up with his girlfriend? It's over, and I'm sorry. I hope we can still be cousins.
Why did the ghost break up with her boyfriend? He was too possessive.
I keep missing the people I break up with I need to practice my aim more.
Why did the quadriplegic man break up with his girlfriend? He was tired of being *pushed around*
Why did its break up with it's? It's is possessive.
Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy... Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.
My girlfriend said she wanted to break up It's okay though, she said we could still be cousins
I think my phone might want to break up with me... It keeps telling me it needs some space
What did Jay Z say when he called to break up with his girlfriend? It's Hova.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in North Korea? B-52! B-52!
What hurts more than a break up? Hair fall.
Why did the tree break up with the board? He thought she was too plane.
Why did the TV break up with the remote? He was too controlling.
Why did Richard Spencer break up with his Asian girlfriend when he saw her working at a Chinese grocery store? Because he realized she was a rice trader.
i had to break up with my girlfriends because i was making references to Bethesda games what a strange thing to fallout for
I had to break up with a girl once because of her breath. They were lopthided.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What did the otter sing after his break up? Alanis Morrisette "you otter know"
My girlfriend said that she'd break up with me if I kerp on making cheesy puns Its okay some things just are'nt ment to brie
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