Hilarious Cool Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Cool Jokes

If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

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My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

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The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool. I wish tinder had it too.

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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.

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My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.

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Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it So we went out and had some drinks.

Cool guy.

Wants to be a web developer.

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Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.

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Why did the hipster drown? He went ice Skating before it was cool

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How to be cool A) Use happy sunglasses emoji

B)

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Name a vegetable that's kind of cool. Radish

Edit: Source: Am a dad

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Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.... We went and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web developer.

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My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of kill it. We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.

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Just found this cool new app that tells you which family members are racist... Its called Facebook

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Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.

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Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

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Why did the hipster drown? Because he went ice-skating before it was cool ‎( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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A propeller is actually just a big fan to keep the pilot cool... when it stops you can watch the pilot start sweating

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How did the hipster drown? He went ice skating before it was cool.

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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It's cool that last names tell us about old family professions Like the Smith family were blacksmiths

and the Bowman family were archers

and the Dickinson family... well they were in jail

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What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K.

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What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool ranch.

(Written by my 9 yo daughter).

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Wife asked me to take out a spider instead of killing it... So I did, hit a few bars, dude is cool, wants to go into web design.

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I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language... ...entirely out of tattoos.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool

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I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.

He said he was outside before it was cool.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"

"Africa", says the parrot.

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How to be cool: A) Use the sunglasses emoji.

B)

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My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.... We went out and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer

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I was flirting with this teenager on the internet... ...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop.

How cool is that for someone her age?

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How many hipsters does it take to fix a heater? None. They did it before it was cool.

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People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch

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My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead if killing it. We had some drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web developer.

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Incest isn't cool... I can count at least 17 reasons why on my hands

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My daughter told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. He wants to be a web developer.

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New Cool Jokes

If any of you are thinking of getting married, please consider this carefully On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

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What do you do to stay cool when it’s 100 degrees in NYC? Dress as a cop.

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You know what's cool about owning a Chevy? well, the logo is a big plus

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A black guy and his parrot walk into a bar The bartender says wow that's really cool where did you get it

The parrot says Africa

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Why did the hipster burn his lip on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

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People in the office always complain about the a/c being too strong but I'm totally cool with it

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So a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder the bartender says “Wow that’s cool! Where’d you get it” “Africa” says the parrot

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My friend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it... We went out and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.

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How do you make a Eskimo lose his cool? GLOBAL WARMING.

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What do you call a vegetable that's sorta cool? Stephen Hawking

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Son : Why's my sister called Teresa? Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram

Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool

Dad : I know Alan

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I thought it would be a cool idea to have sonic in real life But apparently speed doesn’t make animals faster

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I know a farmer that grows doritos It's a cool ranch

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A lot of people are into flight and aviation... that's cool and all, but I find the whole thing rather Boeing.

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Black guy walks into a bar... Black guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The barman notices a parrot on his shoulder an says "Oh cool!! Where did you find him!?"

The parrot says "Africa! There's thousands of them!"

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I don't get why women keep complaining about this "glass ceiling" Where I work we have this cool glass floor, though.

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I used to think my autocannibalism made me cool. Now I realize I was just full of myself.

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"Son, do you know why I pulled you over?" - Cop with Alzheimer's trying to play it cool.

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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing. We went and had drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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How did the hipster die? He went ice skating before it was cool

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I fought with my brother about how he likes to kick ice under the refrigerator, but we're cool now. It's all water under the fridge

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I like jokes about airconditioners, but jokes about heaters? Not cool.

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My girlfriend told me to take out a spider instead of killing it... We went and had a few drinks. Cool guy, he wants to be a web designer.

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it... We went out for a few drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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Why did the ice cube drop out of highschool? It was too cool for school.

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Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims? Halal Cool J

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I caught my roommate trying to hide his glasses in the fridge today.. He said he was trying to look cool.

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Why did the coffee burn the hipster? Because he drank it before it was cool.

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Scientists are testing new mind reading methods with ants It sounds like a cool psy-ants project

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Why did the hipster drown? Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

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A man is verbally abusive to his wife, but she always keeps her cool.

He asks her "I'm always so abusive to you, how come you're always so calm?"

"I scrub the toilet" his wife replies

"I don't get it?!" He says

"I use your toothbrush"

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What do you call a cool jewish guy? Iceberg

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Medical question? My dad said he is going in for a hip replacement........is he having surgery or am I getting a cool new dad?

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Why do hipsters always have burnt tongues? They ate their pizza before it was cool.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his food before it was cool.

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Two employees are having a conversation about quality control Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.

Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.

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What's the difference between a cold nose and that weird white kid in your class? One's a cool hooter, the other is a school shooter

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Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..

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Why did the hipster die in Pripyat? He went into reactor 4 before it was cool

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A joke walks into a bar The bartender says "Cool! I never meta joke before!"

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his pizza before it was cool

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There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter

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My Grandfather My Grandfather is a really cool guy. He has a heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

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A mother in law knocks on the door, her son in law opens it.... MIL - hi Gabe, I'm here for a visit.

Gabe - cool. How long are you here for?

MIL - I don't know, as long as you want me to.

Gabe - you mean you won't even stay for a cup of tea?

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After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD Man being a Pizza Hut Deliveryman is cool

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Why do hipsters only drown in tributaries…? Because they're too cool for the mainstream.

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Why did the hipster burn his lip when sipping coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

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A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar The bartender asks: Hey cool, where'd you get it?

The parrot says: Africa

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool 😎

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A Microsoft Dev walks into a room.... Bethesda is working on Skyrim remastered 4k edition for the new xbox.

Microsoft Dev "Woah that screenshot looks cool"

Bethesda Worker: "That's not a screenshot, it's...it's the game"

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I met this 14 year old online, and she told me she is an undercover cop... How COOL is that for someone her age?

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A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. "That's so cool" says the bartender, "where did you get it?"

"Africa" replies the parrot.

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You know, Frieza was a pretty cool villain… …but his brother was Cooler.

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Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool.

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I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk.. He said "Wow.. Cool! You 3D printed the save icon!"

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The color red walks over to the table where Blue and Purple are sitting "Sorry," says Blue, "you can't sit with us. You aren't cool enough."

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Why'd the hipster burn his tongue while drinking his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

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What do you say to an airplane when it gets mad? Cool your jets.

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Why did the hipster's mouth hurt? Because he ate pizza before it was cool.

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