Hilarious Pork Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Pork Jokes

Score: 172

WARNING: There's an email going round... ...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.

If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.

It's spam!

Score: 145

My daughter saw me eating prosciutto True story: my daughter saw me eating prosciutto and clucked her tongue. "I think eating prosciutto is like, the worst thing a Jew can do."

I am Jewish, so I asked, "Why is that?"

"Well, it's pork and it's expensive."

Score: 131

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

Score: 122

There’s an email going around offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can. If you get this email, don’t open it. It’s spam.

Score: 65

There's an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can Don't open it, it's spam

Score: 58

When will people stop eating ground pork? When pigs fly.

Score: 49

I know Muslims can't eat pork. Islam ok though?

Score: 42

What's small and green and smells like pork? Kermit's Finger.

Score: 32

China has announced a tariff on pork imports from the US It's unclear if they are referring to food or tourists at this time.

Score: 31

Whats long, green, and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

Score: 29

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs middle finger

Score: 29

Last night I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69... She made me sweet and sour pork with fried rice.

Score: 24

Why don't German pessimists eat pork.... They always fear the wurst.

Score: 21

Why is working at a Pork Sausage factory the worst job? Because every day is Ground Hog day.

Score: 20

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

Score: 15

WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin and salt in a can... Do not open it, it's just Spam.

Score: 14

What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop

Score: 14

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's fingers.

Score: 13

The suave Englishman at the breakfast table asked his sweetheart "Please pass the sugar, sugar!" The debonair Frenchman asked his girl "Please pass the honey, honey!"
The American redneck, not to be outdone, yelled "Pass the pork, pig!"

Score: 13

So i stole this joke from I Love Lucy, So a woman walks into a restaurant The woman says to the waiter, "Two pork chops, and make them lean." And the waiter says, "Yes, ma'am. Which way?"

Score: 13

I tried to make some slow cooked pork today But I forgot to plug in the crock pot before I left for work.

It really sucked coming home to my wife giving me the cold shoulder.

Score: 13

What's green and smells like pork? Kermits finger

Score: 11

So, the other night I picked up a prostitute... ... And I began to pork her for several hours. I could tell she was really enjoying it, she made all sorts of weird noises.
I must have been going through puberty,
Because I made that hormone.

Score: 11

What's green, slimey and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

Score: 11

what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork

Ill show^myself^out

Score: 11

What does smoking cure? Pork

Score: 11

What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s fingers.

Score: 10

My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.

Score: 10

What is the difference between a hot potato and a pork chop on the floor? One is a heated yam and the other one is a yeeted ham.

Score: 9

What do you call a Jew who eats pork Jew-ish

Score: 8

What's long and green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

Score: 6

I asked my dad how the pork was. He hit me against the head telling me not to talk about my stepmom that way.

Score: 5

What's slimy, long and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger.

Score: 5

A muslim and his wife are chatting during dinner Wife: Did you hear about the gorilla that got shot in the zoo?
Husband: Wait what are you eating?
Wife: Pork
Husband: Thats haram bae.
Wife: Oh so you did hear about it

Score: 4

Did you hear about the pig that learned karate? I heard all his friends now call him pork chop.

Score: 4

Take heed: Do not open this email There's an email that had begun circulating recently that is offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it; it's SPAM.

Score: 4

What is long, green and smells of pork? Kermit The Frog´s finger

Score: 3

What do you get when you jack off a pig? Pulled pork.

Score: 3

What's a sausage makers favourite band? Linkin Pork

Score: 3

New Pork Jokes

Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign Got Ham?

Score: 2

Why don’t cannibal Muslims eat Americans? Cause they can’t eat pork

Score: 2

What is David Cameron's favourite food? Pulled pork

Score: 1

What's green, slimy, long, and smells like pork? Kermit's Finger

Score: 1

what do you call a pig that does karate? a pork chop.

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross BBQ'ed pork with a gigantic sea monster? Release the Kracklen!

Score: 3

I just bought myself a radio controlled pork polisher It's called Guglielmo Marconi's Baloney Zamboni

Score: 1

What do they call pork in Sweden? Pjork

Score: 3

What do you call a Japanese warrior who only eats pork? A hamurai.

Score: 1

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork

Score: 2

What do you call someone who is in love with multiple hunks of pork? Polyhamorous

Score: 3

An African-American woman walks into a sandwich shop An African-American woman called Betty walks into a sandwich shop, and asks if they are serving pork sandwiches.

The man replies, "No Black Betty it's ham or lamb."

Score: 1

How do you make a pig pregnant? ... you pork one.

Score: 1

What do you call it when you borrow money from a pig? A pork tender-loan

Score: 3

What do you call a dinosaur wrapped in bacon? Jurassic Pork.

Score: 2

What do you call a pig in a trailer? Pulled pork!

Score: 2

Why aren't there any Muslim feminists? Pork is haram

Score: 2

A Spaniard moves to Canada. After his flight lands, he goes to get some dinner. He orders pork. A local asks him why.

EDIT:

>"Por qué?" is Spanish for "Why?". It also sounds like "Pork, eh?" which the local (Canadian) says.

Score: 2

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met? Pork and bologne sammiches.

Score: 1