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Contents
Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
how many screws hold together a lesbians bed? None it's all tongue and groove
The Human Centipede wasn't that bad really.. ...most of it was tongue in cheek.
I'm building a brothel for lesbians. No studs in the building, it's all tongue and groove.
What makes a good tongue-twister? Well, it's hard to say...
My daughter saw me eating prosciutto
True story: my daughter saw me eating prosciutto and clucked her tongue. "I think eating prosciutto is like, the worst thing a Jew can do."
I am Jewish, so I asked, "Why is that?"
"Well, it's pork and it's expensive."
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested I heard that they’re giving him a really tough sentence.
A world tongue twister champion just got arrested I heard they are going to give him a tough sentence
Did you hear the one about rim jobs?
It's very tongue in cheek.
-came up with this while trying to fall asleep. Pretty sure it's OC
I gave my cat a bath the other day... he liked it, but the fur stuck to my tongue.
People always tell me I shouldn't give my cat a bath... I don't see what the big deal is. Honestly, it's fine once I get all the hair off my tongue.
Customer: What would you recommend from the menu? Waitress: The beef tongue is very good today. Customer: Yeech! I'd never eat anything that came from an animal's mouth. Waitress: Okay. How about some eggs?
Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. They said he'll be given a tough sentence.
Why shouldn't you take rimjob jokes seriously? Because they're all tongue in cheek.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate pizza before it was cool
What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common? People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.
TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue without looking ridiculous.
At school
A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:
\- What substance is that?
\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!
\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!
Vaginas are like snowflakes
While they all appear to look the same, each of them has a subtle difference – making them all uniquely beautiful
Also, it’s fun to catch them on your tongue.
My grandfather got his tongue cut out in a POW camp He doesn't like to talk about it.
What does "LSD" stand for again? It's on the tip of my tongue....
Have you heard about the new condo complex for lesbians? It's all tongue in groove construction. Not a stud in the whole place.
What is something that tastes better than it smells? A tongue
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He was drinking coffee before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their tea before it was cool.
A woman is complaining to her neighbor
Wife: My husband is 300% impotent.
Neighbor: A few days ago you told me 100%, not 300%.
Wife: Well, yesterday he fell down the stairs, broke his finger and bit his tongue.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Did you hear about the house the lesbians built? It was all tongue and groove, and not a stud in sight.
Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other...
"Hey, are we venomous?"
The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."
My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it.
What Language Does a Mailman Speak? Parcel-tongue
Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other, "Hey, are we venomous?"
The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "because I just bit my tongue."
Why'd the hipster burn his tongue while drinking his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.
Why is it "mankind"? It rolls off the tongue much better than "womancruel"
What is your Tongue's Best Friend? Its tasteBUDS!
What language do delivery drivers speak in the Harry Potter universe? Parcel tongue
I had a joke about an ice pole... But I couldn't put my tongue on it.
What language do Fed-Ex drivers speak? Parcel-tongue
The world tongue twister champion died in a tragic motorway accident yesterday. He was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry..........
I tried to tell a joke after burning my tongue It was tasteless.
I don't mean to say that my wife talks a lot... but she just came back from a beach holiday with a sunburned tongue.
Did you hear about the hipster who burnt her tongue? She drank her coffee before it was cool.
How can you tell if a house is built by lesbians? There are no studs, it's all tongue & groove.
It's weird it hurts when you accidentally bite on your tongue but when you do it on purpose it doesn't hurt It's also weird your biting on your tongue now
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he sipped his coffee before it was cool
Why did the hipster burn its tongue? He drank the coffee before it was cool.
Two lesbians built a house without using nails... It was all tongue in groove. Not a single stud in the house.
They call our language the "Mother Tongue" Because the father never gets to speak.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his pizza before it was cool
Why are brass players good in bed? They know how to tongue, finger, and blow.
Why did the hipster burn her tongue? Because she drank her coffee before it was cool!
Store owner: Good morning Janet! What can i get for you?
Janet: Something for dinner, please
Store owner: I have some lovely fresh ox tongue!
Janet: Oh, no! Yuck! I couldn't eat something that comes out of an animal's mouth! I'll just have a dozen egg
mother language Our Language is called THE Mother tongue because Father never gets a chance to speak
Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee He drank it before it was cool
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank coffee before it was cool
Whats another term for acid? Its on the tip of my tongue...
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool.
I bought a book about knots... I was hoping for an audio book, but apparently all the narrators kept getting tongue tied.
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