Contents
Contents
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel
Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7? Because they literally can't even.
I was going to post a time travel joke But you guys didn't like it.
I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn’t like it.
So I choose not to post it this time around
Edit: Thanks for the 1000 upvotes this time guys!
( Edited when I only had 27)
I was going to tell a time travel joke... but you didn't like it.
Why do white girls travel in odd-numbered groups? They literally can't even.
You put the punchline first. How do you make a time travel joke?
Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?
If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title.
I'd tell you a great time travel joke... but you didn't like it..
Why did KGB officers always travel in threes? One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.
So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it.
But you didn't like it. I was going to tell you a time travel joke.
The punchline comes first. What's the worst part about time travel jokes?
Why is it hard for the Amish to travel? Their transit system is a little buggy.
I was going to do a joke about time travel… …but nobody liked it.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd number groups? Because they can't even
I was going to post a joke about time travel But you guys didn't like it
If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.
If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.
This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.
How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD? It took the bus.
Muslim scientists..
Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They’re calling it ‘Islam’.
What kind of trails does a crazy person travel? Psychopaths. (I hate myself)
I was actually going to post a time travel joke... But you guys didn't like it.
How do flat-earthers travel? on a plane...
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,
If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.
This has nothing to do with politics.
I just really want to travel.
I met my wife in a travel agency. She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.
I was going to post a time travel joke... But you guys didn't find it funny
I had a joke about time travel.... ... But you guys didnt like it
The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence.. Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough
time travel joke? Wanna hear a
This and That are both on summer break.
That is heading to Florida. This has plans to travel somewhere, but he won't give me the details.
i have no idea where this is going
Donald Trump's speeches can travel faster than the speed of light Cuz they contain no information
What happened when the clown-fish tried to fast travel? You cannot fast travel when anemone is nearby.
Did he travel with Scandinavian Airlines? No, he simply vanished into Finnair
How do dictators travel on the sea? In dictatorships.
My girl wants to travel so bad I told her to pick up a basketball and take three step
if the gas station is 2 miles away.. ..and my dad's car can travel at 60mph, why hasn't he returned from getting cigarettes after 6 years?
Why did the panda travel to Wall Street? To buy bamboo stalks!
The Coronavirus has made Las Vegas the perfect travel destination. So long as you're betting the spread.
How come when the ghost tried to travel he never got anywhere? Because he could only make fright turns.
My hard of hearing travel agent took me to Afghanistan. But, I asked for a place with nice dessert.
Do you know why so many people travel to Mount Everest to climb it It's a great ice breaker
You would never guess which fruit is contributing the most to human space travel Melon Musk
A moth breaks his arm, how did he travel to the Moth hospital? Using an ambulamp
What is a Native American's favorite food and travel show? No Reservations
I meet the wife at a travel agency. She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.
I was actually going to post a time travel joke... but it seems someone beat me to it.
Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.
Yes Is time travel possible?
Why do teenage girls travel in odd groups Because they caaan’t even
Why does Aladdin travel on a magic carpet? He's on the no fly list.
Do you know how to time travel? Sleep
My attempt to travel to North Korea to become a popular jazz musician failed. Turns out they've got no Seoul.
The reason we know time travel doesnt exist No mysterious investor pooled all their money into Apple when it first started out.
I was telling my friend about a job opening the other day. A full time, private job, where he would have to travel to other people's houses and keep them cool by spinning as fast as he could. He was not a fan.
I thought I'd tell you a good time travel joke But none of you liked it.
My friend has a travel bag specifically for his almonds. What a nutcase.
The bartender says 'Sorry, no time travel allowed in here!' The Doctor walks into a bar.
...a confusing situation! What do you get when you cross a joke with time travel...?
Immigrants these days just can't win. First Trump's travel ban and now boxing.
Why do the conjoined twins travel to London? ...so the other twin gets the chance to drive a car =(
My Girlfriend told me that she wanted to travel... I told her to pick up a Basketball and take 3 steps forward.
Border officer: Do you have anything to declare?
Traveller: Only an undying love of travel puns.
Border officer: ...You just crossed a line, kid.
"Travel Bags?" "Check" "Snacks?" "Check" "Going to a place in Europe?" "Czech"
I asked my family "Canadad travel to the Great White North" My children replied "Yukon", but my wife was having Nunavut.
Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico. The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.
Why do blondes travel in odd-numbered packs? Because they can't even.
Today in elementary school.
Teacher: Next week, we have a field trip to travel to Uranus.
Kid: Myanus?
Teacher: No... You're traveling to timeout for field trip.
Which direction do fungi travel? yEAST
Why do teenagers travel in groups of three? Because they can't even!
How come girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even
Me: I love to travel. Bank account: Like where? To the backyard?
Time Travel
"What do we want?!"
"Time Travel!"
"When do we want it?!"
"Irrelevant!"
Why do sorority girls only travel in groups with odd numbers? Because they cant even!
Do you like food and travel!?
Why should you got to Jerusalem for the food?
Because israeli good.
Why doesn't Doctor Who travel with United Airlines?
Because the tardis is faster.
Yeah, you were expecting a joke about that doctor who got kicked off the United Airlines flight, but you were wrong.
WRONG!!!
Our corporate travel agency booked me a flight on United I got reservations.
my job is great, I get to travel a lot, I'm surrounded by hot babes, and I even met my wife on the job! I love being a shepherd!
The ambitious man who wanted the works
He wanted to get paid to travel
He wanted a corner office with a view
He wanted to drive a company vehicle worth over a hundred grand
So he became a bus driver.
Why do adolescent white girls travel in 3's? Because they can't even.
The sign inside the bus said - "Dogs must be carried". That's prepostorous! Now I have to get a dog just to travel in the bus.
I have invented a new measure of time, the "light light year!" It's the amount of time it takes for light to travel in one light year :D
My Iraqi friend found a silver lining on the Muslim travel ban My Iraqi friend found a silver lining on the Muslim travel ban. He said "at least my mother-in-law can't come and visit." Well, at least he found something to laugh about XD
What does the travel ban look like at Wal-mart? Well, it's just a small version of regular sized Ban, both the roll-on and invisible solid.
If I could travel back in time, I would go to the Inquisition. I heard the women had nice racks.
Trump passes a travel ban for all his supporters. They are not allowed to leave the county.
Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.
Donald Trump is getting back into the air travel industry... He's launching...Receding Hairlines
My girlfriend is not allowed to go on vacation. If she wants to travel she better pick up a basketball and start walking around the house!
Why do sorority girls always travel in groups of 3? Because they can't even.
Why did the sorority girls always travel in groups of odd numbers? Because they can't even.
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