Hilarious Travel Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Travel Jokes

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

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How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane

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If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel

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I was going to post a time travel joke But you guys didn't like it.

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I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn’t like it. So I choose not to post it this time around

Edit: Thanks for the 1000 upvotes this time guys!
( Edited when I only had 27)

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I was going to tell a time travel joke... but you didn't like it.

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Why do white girls travel in odd-numbered groups? They literally can't even.

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You put the punchline first. How do you make a time travel joke?

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Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

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If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title.

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I'd tell you a great time travel joke... but you didn't like it..

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Why did KGB officers always travel in threes? One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

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So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it.

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But you didn't like it. I was going to tell you a time travel joke.

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The punchline comes first. What's the worst part about time travel jokes?

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Why is it hard for the Amish to travel? Their transit system is a little buggy.

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I was going to do a joke about time travel… …but nobody liked it.

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Why do teenage girls travel in odd number groups? Because they can't even

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I was going to post a joke about time travel But you guys didn't like it

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If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

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How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD? It took the bus.

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Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.

They’re calling it ‘Islam’.

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What kind of trails does a crazy person travel? Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

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I was actually going to post a time travel joke... But you guys didn't like it.

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How do flat-earthers travel? on a plane...

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ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.

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If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving, If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

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I met my wife in a travel agency. She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.

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I was going to post a time travel joke... But you guys didn't find it funny

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I had a joke about time travel.... ... But you guys didnt like it

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The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence.. Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

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time travel joke? Wanna hear a

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This and That are both on summer break. That is heading to Florida. This has plans to travel somewhere, but he won't give me the details.

i have no idea where this is going

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Donald Trump's speeches can travel faster than the speed of light Cuz they contain no information

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What happened when the clown-fish tried to fast travel? You cannot fast travel when anemone is nearby.

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Did he travel with Scandinavian Airlines? No, he simply vanished into Finnair

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How do dictators travel on the sea? In dictatorships.

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My girl wants to travel so bad I told her to pick up a basketball and take three step

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if the gas station is 2 miles away.. ..and my dad's car can travel at 60mph, why hasn't he returned from getting cigarettes after 6 years?

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New Travel Jokes

Why did the panda travel to Wall Street? To buy bamboo stalks!

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The Coronavirus has made Las Vegas the perfect travel destination. So long as you're betting the spread.

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How come when the ghost tried to travel he never got anywhere? Because he could only make fright turns.

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My hard of hearing travel agent took me to Afghanistan. But, I asked for a place with nice dessert.

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Do you know why so many people travel to Mount Everest to climb it It's a great ice breaker

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You would never guess which fruit is contributing the most to human space travel Melon Musk

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A moth breaks his arm, how did he travel to the Moth hospital? Using an ambulamp

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What is a Native American's favorite food and travel show? No Reservations

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I meet the wife at a travel agency. She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.

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I was actually going to post a time travel joke... but it seems someone beat me to it.

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Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.

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Yes Is time travel possible?

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Why do teenage girls travel in odd groups Because they caaan’t even

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Why does Aladdin travel on a magic carpet? He's on the no fly list.

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Do you know how to time travel? Sleep

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My attempt to travel to North Korea to become a popular jazz musician failed. Turns out they've got no Seoul.

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The reason we know time travel doesnt exist No mysterious investor pooled all their money into Apple when it first started out.

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I was telling my friend about a job opening the other day. A full time, private job, where he would have to travel to other people's houses and keep them cool by spinning as fast as he could. He was not a fan.

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I thought I'd tell you a good time travel joke But none of you liked it.

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My friend has a travel bag specifically for his almonds. What a nutcase.

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The bartender says 'Sorry, no time travel allowed in here!' The Doctor walks into a bar.

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...a confusing situation! What do you get when you cross a joke with time travel...?

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Immigrants these days just can't win. First Trump's travel ban and now boxing.

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Why do the conjoined twins travel to London? ...so the other twin gets the chance to drive a car =(

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My Girlfriend told me that she wanted to travel... I told her to pick up a Basketball and take 3 steps forward.

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Border officer: Do you have anything to declare? Traveller: Only an undying love of travel puns.
Border officer: ...You just crossed a line, kid.

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"Travel Bags?" "Check" "Snacks?" "Check" "Going to a place in Europe?" "Czech"

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I asked my family "Canadad travel to the Great White North" My children replied "Yukon", but my wife was having Nunavut.

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Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico. The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.

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Why do blondes travel in odd-numbered packs? Because they can't even.

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Today in elementary school. Teacher: Next week, we have a field trip to travel to Uranus.

Kid: Myanus?

Teacher: No... You're traveling to timeout for field trip.

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Which direction do fungi travel? yEAST

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Why do teenagers travel in groups of three? Because they can't even!

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How come girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even

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Me: I love to travel. Bank account: Like where? To the backyard?

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Time Travel "What do we want?!"

"Time Travel!"

"When do we want it?!"

"Irrelevant!"

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Why do sorority girls only travel in groups with odd numbers? Because they cant even!

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Do you like food and travel!? Why should you got to Jerusalem for the food?

Because israeli good.

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Why doesn't Doctor Who travel with United Airlines? Because the tardis is faster.

Yeah, you were expecting a joke about that doctor who got kicked off the United Airlines flight, but you were wrong.

WRONG!!!

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Our corporate travel agency booked me a flight on United I got reservations.

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my job is great, I get to travel a lot, I'm surrounded by hot babes, and I even met my wife on the job! I love being a shepherd!

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The ambitious man who wanted the works He wanted to get paid to travel

He wanted a corner office with a view

He wanted to drive a company vehicle worth over a hundred grand

So he became a bus driver.

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Why do adolescent white girls travel in 3's? Because they can't even.

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The sign inside the bus said - "Dogs must be carried". That's prepostorous! Now I have to get a dog just to travel in the bus.

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I have invented a new measure of time, the "light light year!" It's the amount of time it takes for light to travel in one light year :D

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My Iraqi friend found a silver lining on the Muslim travel ban My Iraqi friend found a silver lining on the Muslim travel ban. He said "at least my mother-in-law can't come and visit." Well, at least he found something to laugh about XD

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What does the travel ban look like at Wal-mart? Well, it's just a small version of regular sized Ban, both the roll-on and invisible solid.

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If I could travel back in time, I would go to the Inquisition. I heard the women had nice racks.

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Trump passes a travel ban for all his supporters. They are not allowed to leave the county.

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Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.

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Donald Trump is getting back into the air travel industry... He's launching...Receding Hairlines

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My girlfriend is not allowed to go on vacation. If she wants to travel she better pick up a basketball and start walking around the house!

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Why do sorority girls always travel in groups of 3? Because they can't even.

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Why did the sorority girls always travel in groups of odd numbers? Because they can't even.

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