Hilarious Australia Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Australia Jokes

As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn’t* something trying to kill you... “School” is my answer

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As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there "isn't" something trying to kill you.... "School" is my answer.

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A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him

"Do you have a criminal record?"

The British man replies

"I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."

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A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, “Do you have any felony convictions?”
The Briton replies, “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”

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If you find gold in Australia where do you look for silver? Agstralia

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I'm Aussie and Americans are always asking me where in Australia there isn’t something trying to kill you... School is my answer!

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Our new IT guy moved here from Australia... He comes from a LAN down under.

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A man is going through customs entering Australia The man behind the desk asks him "do you have a criminal record?"
The man replies "No, I didn't know that was still a requirement"

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An American tourist in Australia was in an accident. The next day he woke up in the hospital and asked, "Did you bring me here to die?"
The orderly said, "No, mate, we brought you here yesterday."

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A British man visits Australia A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks "Do you have a previous criminal history?"

The visitor replies "I didn't realize that was still a requirement"

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A British man is visiting Australia for vacation. The passport lady at Australian customs asks him, "Have you been convicted of any crimes in the past?"

The Brit replies by asking, "Is it still a requirement?"

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A Man is going through Australia Customs... He is asked by the customs agent “Do you have a criminal record?” To which the man replied “No, I didn’t know that was still a requirement.”

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So I recently went to Australia... I want to Australia for holiday.
I was at the airport and one of security people asks me: "Do you have a criminal record?"
I responded: "Oh. I didn't realise that was still a requirement."

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What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common? They both end with a check mate

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A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him : "Do you have any criminal record?"

he replied : "I didn't know this was still a requirement"

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What do you call a prison full of kangaroos? Australia

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Sad news from Australia The inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

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Some sad news from Australia… the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

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Did you know that the boomerang is Australia's biggest export? It's also their biggest import.

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I was applying for citizenship in Australia, and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal background". I replied, "No, is that still a requirement".

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I was going from London to Australia for a holiday... I was passing the security check at the airport and the man working there asked

"Sir, do you have a criminal record?"

"No, sorry. I didn't know it was still a requirement."

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When I went to Australia, I was asked if I had committed any felonies back home... I hadn't realized that was still a requirement to get in

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The new IT guy at my company is from Australia. He comes from a LAN down under.

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Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million
#2. China: 1.357 billion
#3. Japan: 173.3 million
#4. Australia: 48 as of last census

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I was applying for the Australia Visa. And the interviewer asked Interviewer: Sir, do you have a criminal record?

My dumbass: No, is that still required?

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A British man arrives in Australia Customs agent asks him "Do you have a criminal record?"

The British man responds "no, why, is it still necessary?"

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Boomerangs are Australia's largest Export. And Import.

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If you look for gold in Australia where do you look for silver? Agstralia!

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whats the secret service of Australia called? M8

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What's the only thing in Australia that won't kill you? Old Age

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What does eating in Australia and playing chess have in common? They both usually end with "check mate"

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Have you heard the new rap producer from Australia? DJ Redo.

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Why is Sean Spicer moving to Australia? He's gotten really good at roaming around the bush.

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What do they call Jury Duty in Australia? Didgereedooty

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Last month, I applied for a zookeeper position in Australia. Today, I found out that the application was unsucessful. Perhaps I don't have the right koalafications.

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Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs. It's also their biggest import.

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I went to Australia and the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record I didn't know that was still a requirement

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Anybody heard about the kidnapping in Sydney, Australia ? Yeah he woke up.

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Stranger Things is scary enough for the characters in the US. Imagine what it would be like if they were in Australia.

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New Australia Jokes

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia.

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There's a growing theory that the fires in Australia are actually terror attacks that are being caused by an Islamic Koalas terror organization Which is called 'Koala hu Akbar'

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What do u callz anuder funnie namez of Australia? ASStralia 🤪🤪🤪 LEL IM SO FUNNY

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I think now is the best time to take a vacation to Australia. All the deadly animals I was so worried about before are gone!

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I called my friend in the USA from Australia He didn't pick up until a year later.

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What do you call a live videogame competition in Australia? LAN down under.

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I met this dude from Australia who worked in IT. I asked him " Do you come from a LAN down under?"

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Why is harder to make toast in Australia? Because Australian bread is damper.

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The Australian government wishes to band grated cheese They want to make Australia grate again

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What do the French have on their burgers whilst visiting Australia? snoino.

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What Do You Call The Opposite of a Libary The Australia Parliament

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Everything is at stake during this year's Ms Universe final. But Ms Kenya keeps stepping on Ms Australia's foot... Ah! Kenya fucken not mate!

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What's the difference between cocaine and video games? One is a controlled substance, the other is a controlled substance in Germany and Australia.

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Have you ever heard of the French kiss? We have something similar here in Australia, it's like the French one only down under.

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On my flight to Australia I was asked if I had any criminal records I was confused, because I didn't know it was still a requirement

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Why would New Zealand starting a war against Australia be historical? It would be the first time New Zealand declared anything against Australia.

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Happy New year America! from your friend Australia. Don't worry I expect it'll take about 18 or so hours for you to get this.

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Dear America, Keep Your Chins Up. Love, Australia Both of them.

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What do you call the beautiful women in Australia... Tourists.

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[rugby] Looks like Australia was in trouble there for a while... But in the end they got off Scot-free.

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They say that when you find a spider in Australia... you hear boss battle music.

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