Hilarious Bakery Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Bakery Jokes

I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great... I just kneaded the dough

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Score: 345

Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.

Score: 308

I tried to start an online bakery. But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.

Score: 145

Score: 119

I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery... Now I'm in a world of pain.

Score: 105

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner

Score: 80

Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast.

Score: 80

A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The chap behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”.

(It’s a cake day joke—-ugh I’ll see myself out)

Score: 70

My Buddies bakery burnt down last night.... His business is toast.

Score: 65

If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man? I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..

Score: 60

A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".

Score: 56

Remember: YouTube is a private company that can do whatever it wants. It’s not like it’s a bakery or something.

Score: 49

I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France. It was a painful experience.

Score: 45

My friend's bakery burned down last night Now his business is toast

Score: 42

Is the bakery hiring? Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.

Score: 40

I got a job at a bakery Because I really kneaded the dough

Score: 31

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery? Only one cannoli.

Score: 30

I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?" They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn’t think so, it’s on a knead to dough basis."

Score: 30

How do they package bread at the bakery? They baguette.

Score: 29

Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine

Score: 21

I just got fired from my job at the bakery Which is upsetting because I really kneaded the dough

Score: 20

I decided to start working at a bakery... I knead the dough.

Score: 19

So my friend's bakery burned down yesterday... His business is toast.

Score: 18

Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it Baker says "Avocadough"

Score: 17

Yesterday I heard there was a robbery at a bakery, I've heard of stupid crimes... But this one really takes the cake.

Score: 16

A dad walks into a bakery... ...and he asks, "Hey do you have any big pieces of shortbread?"

The baker responds, "No, we don't make them any longer."

Score: 16

A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, "do you have any pita?"

The baker responds, "no, there's naan left."

Score: 15

"Officer, what can you tell us about the break in at the bakery today?" "Man I've seen all kinds of thieves in my career, but this one takes the cake"

Score: 15

My girlfriend asked me why I work at the bakery if I don't enjoy it. I told her it's because I knead the dough.

Score: 15

Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke * A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.

Score: 14

In a bakery... In a bakery:

Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”

Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Score: 14

I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery. It's a naan prophet organization.

Score: 13

What do you call a red-head that works at a bakery? A ginger bread man.

Score: 12

If I own a bakery in France... am I the master of pain?

Score: 12

Why did the German baker call the police? Everything in his bakery was stollen

Score: 10

What does a Japanese bakery thief say? "I Tokyo cookie."

Score: 10

I own a very profitable bakery I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough

Score: 9

What type of bakery has the fastest service? A Russian bakery.

Score: 9

I've heard of some evil criminals before . . . but this bakery thief really takes the cake!

Score: 7

I've met a lot of bakery thieves before... But this one takes the cake.

Score: 6

New Bakery Jokes

Did you hear about the angry movie thief complaining about their local bakery? It was an irate pirate pie rate

Score: 1

While at the bakery, I couldn't figure out why this one loaf of bread was so much more expensive than the others... ...I asked the baker and he said, "Because that one is pure bread."

Score: 1

What do you call a bakery run by retarded kids? *Special Kneads*

Score: 2

why the German bakery taste so good ? because they know how to use the oven

Score: 0

My girlfriend asked me why I work at the bakery if I hate it so much... I told her it's because I knead the bread.

Score: 3

A boy enters the Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the lady at the counter than asks if he wants it whole or sliced. The boy replies “doesn’t matter, I’ve got my bike out the front”.

Score: 2

I got turned away while trying to order a pie from Yoda's bakery the other day. "Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."

Score: 2

I use to work at a bakery as a pilot I would make the dough over here and pilot over there.

Score: 2

There have been a lot of bakery robbers lately... But this one takes the cake.

Score: 3

Who decided to call it a "Marijuana Dispensary"? And not a "Bakery"

Score: 4

I was going to rob a bakery supply store but then I realized it wasn't worth the whisk.

Score: 2

A woman stole from our bakery today We've had some bad stuff happen, but this really takes the cake.

Score: 4

Gonna open up an erotic bakery Calling it "Fudgeina"

Score: 3

A man suffering from Alzheimer's leaves a bakery... ...and as he walks out the door the baker yells 'You forgotch'ya focaccia!'

(came from a dream i had. the GF insists its terrible but ill keep using it when i introduce it to her friends)

Score: 4

I just got fired from my job at the bakery It's upsetting because I really kneaded the dough.

Score: 5

Did you hear about that bakery where they employ addicts and pay them with drugs? I think it's called... Knead for Speed

Score: 2

A man goes to a bakery shop . . Man to the shop assistant: 'I will have that one, please'

Shop Assistant: 'Cupcake?'

Man rolls his eyes**
'Ok Cupcake, I will have that one please'

Score: 2

So a guy walks into a bakery. He orders some bread, and the baker asks if he’d like paper or plastic. The man replies “baguette however you’d like.”

Score: 1

Did you hear about the red head who worked at the bakery? His friends called him the ginger bread man.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the thug who robbed the bakery? He said he was innocent, he dindu muffins

Score: 1

My friend's bakery burned down Now his business is toast

Score: 4

A car collided with a bread bakery and exploded. The bakery survived, but the car was toast.

Score: 2

The cashier at the bakery is getting really annoyed with my jokes each morning. She gives me the best eye roll every time I go in.

Score: 1

I can no longer justify the cookies price from local bakery Because he keeps raisin it up

Score: 1

In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”

Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Score: 3

My dad was a single father growing up, and he ran a bakery.. He was the breadwinner of the family.

Score: 2

I once went to a French bakery... It was very painful...

Score: 2

What's a brothel/bakery's slogan? You bring the dough we will make it rise!

Score: 2

Can I write the money I spent at the Indian bakery off my taxes? They are a naan profit organization ...

Score: 3

What would Jacob Kowalski's book about opening a bakery be called? Fantastic Yeasts and Where to Find Them

Score: 1

I've got an idea for a new reality show set in an Alabama bakery. It's name? In-breads

Score: 2

Online dating is like a bakery You've got the flakes, the fruitcakes, and the tarts.

Score: 5

What do you called a racist bakery store? The Cake-Cake-Cake!

Score: 5