Hilarious Bike Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Bike Jokes

Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"

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I keep getting hit by the same bike, at the same time and place, day after day... It's a vicious cycle.

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My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike. I rode on, ruthlessly.

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Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike? Attire.

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What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bike, and a well-dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

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Just got a bike for my wife. It was a good trade.

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Every single morning I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle.

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A young black Jew asks his father, "Dad, am I more black or more Jew?"... "Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.

The boy says, "Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."

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Police just knocked on my door and said my dog is chasing a kid on his bike. What a liar, my dog doesn't even have a bike.

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I yelled, “COW!” at a woman on a bike As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow.

I tried.

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I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike... She game the finger. Then she ran into a cow. I tried.

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Why didn't the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired.

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Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!"

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A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish. "Why son?" The dad asks.
"Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."

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A bike in town keeps running me over It’s a vicious cycle

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The saddest thing in the world is a child's cry after their bike is stolen So I try to pedal away as fast as I can.

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So a cop knocked on my door this morning. He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'

I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'

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I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.

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Did you hear about the guy who couldn't stop pouring maple syrup on his bike? Apparently he's stuck in a viscous cycle.

[just made this up \^_\^]

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A Little Black Jewish Boy says to his father, "daddy, am I more black or more Jewish?" Why do you ask? Says the dad.
The boy says, "well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I should haggle him down to $75 or just steal it"

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I was in a crash with a smart car today. The smart car was totaled. My bike was fine, though.

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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually we had to take his bike away

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I keep falling off my bike. It's a vicious cycle.

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A cop just knocked on my front door. He told me my dog was chasing someone on a bike.

Told the cop it wasn't my dog, he doesnt even own a bike.

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The Police called to my door last night and said "Your dog was chasing a man on a bike"... ...I said "Bullshit, my dog doesn't have a bike".

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What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson.

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So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".

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My dog wouldn't stop chasing people on bikes. In the end, I had to take his bike away.

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Why can’t a bike stand on its own? Because it’s two tired.

Edit: added "because".

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A Black/Jewish boy asks his dad whether he's more Black or more Jewish. When his dad asks why, the boy answers "there's a bike for sale for $100 and I can't decide whether to haggle down to $75 or just steal it."

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I asked God for a bike... ... but then realized that is not how God works. So I stole some kid's bike and asked God for forgiveness.

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Nurse to my dad at the hospital... ... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?

Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire

Nurse: looks to my mom

Mom: no.

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I couldn't believe how expensive the new bike pump was! I hadn't considered inflation

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My dog has been chasing people on bikes lately so I had to take away his bike

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What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? Attire.

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I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.

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My friend just bought a self-pedaling exercise bike.. I hope it works out for him.

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I rode my bike to the liquor store yesterday for a bottle of rum. As I put the rum in the basket, I realized if I fell over the bottle would break, so I drank the rum. On the way home, I fell down seven times. Imagine what would have happened to the bottle.

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What do you call a Mexican on a bike? A bmxican

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New Bike Jokes

A reckless biker revved his bike up SO much... ... that St. Peter had to rebuild the Pearly Gates.

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A black man rode by my house today on a push bike, I thought, “that looks like mine” so I rushed into the garage to check.... Luckily, mine was still chained up asking for food

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Why can't recovering drug users bike anywhere? Because they might be tempted to bike rack

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A boy watches a guy to cool trick in his bike “That was wheely cool” says the boy

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I coult figure out why my bike wouldn't stand up on it's own Then I realized it was two tired.

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A child fell from his bike and scraped his knee. Don't worry, it's just a Minor injury.

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A boy enters the Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the lady at the counter than asks if he wants it whole or sliced. The boy replies “doesn’t matter, I’ve got my bike out the front”.

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What did the birt bike say to the weiner? Brraaaaaatttttttttttttt!!!

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Its second day of my grandma learning watsapp I feel off from my bike.

Grandma texted : so sad😂😂😂how that happened 😂😂are you okay?

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I told my mom that I was going to make a spaghetti bike. You should've seen her face when I rode right pasta!

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What do you call a software developer on a bike, being chased by a car? A software developer life cycle

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I was confronted by a bear. I was supposed to play dead, but I played dad instead. Now it can ride a bike.

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So this one time I was walking through the woods when I saw a bear I accidentally played dad instead of playing dead and now he can ride a bike.

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Why was the road afraid of the bike lane? Because it was a cycle path!

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On my bike ride home I fell into multiple potholes This road sees more action in 1 day than me in a week.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a garage? Another two if I move my bike.

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A motorway and a bike lane walk into a pub After a few drinks a couple of the other patrons start picking on the bike lane. Highway steps in and warns them 'You don't want to mess with him and get him angry, he's a cycle path.'

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I once chained my bike to a large Pole... ... he was very upset!

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They say bringing your bike to work is better for the enviorment Why not
I have a roof rack anyways

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What do you call a short guy on an exercise bike? A midget spinner.

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The police came to my door the other day telling me there had been a complaint made, that my dog chased a man on his bike "sorry officer" I said "my dog doesn't have a bike"

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Cultural Jeopardy A little black Jewish boy says to his daddy, "Dad am I more black or Jewish?"

"Why do you ask?", says the Dad.

The boy says, "Well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100 or just steal it."

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What do you call a member of a bike gang with osteoporosis? Bad to the bone.

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Just saw a kid riding a bike Thought it was mine, I checked the garage and it's still there, locked up, safe and sound, begging for food.

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I never say no to a fight But when my grandmother said "Let's take this outside" I'm beginning to think she may have been talking about my Bike.

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I saw a black guy riding a bike down the street I thought it was mine, so I checked my garage and it was still chained up, begging for food.

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Why couldn't the old bike stay upright? It was *two-tired.*

An oldy, but a goody, I hope you can *handle* it.

Changing *gears*, I *spoke* at a fancy unicycle conference and you know what's different there? *Attire.*

I'm just *pedaling* for upvotes.

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A bike cannot stand by itself. It's two tired.

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They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead, so when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead... Now it can ride a bike without training wheels...

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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away

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Person 1: Can you do a wheelie, on your bike? Person 2: Not wheelie.

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At the urinals Stood next to a guy with a bike helmet on at the urinals at the train station, thought it would be hilarious to say "nice helmet", never seen someone so shocked in my life.

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I got complaints about my dog chasing people on bikes I didnt know my dog could ride a bike

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Losing my virginity was alot like learning to ride a bike. Having dad gripping my shoulders.

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Is there really racial inequality in America? Because in my neighbourhood as a kid, EVERY time a white kid got a new bike, a black kid got a new bike.

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My dog likes to chase people on a bike. I got frustrated from all the complaints so I took the bike away from him.

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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually I had to take his bike away

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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad that I finally had to take away his bike

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As a boy, my father had told me you can't just get a bike by praying for it... So I stole one and asked for forgiveness instead.

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I stole a bike And then got accused of cultural appropriation

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i used to ride my bike a lot until recently i decided to take a brake from it

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losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike My dad having a firm grip on my shoulders .

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A dog peed on my bike today. Of course I did not put up with that. I peed all over it immediately.

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What's the difference between my bike and your mom? Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

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My Dog voilet Rules My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Organized crime

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What's the difference between a bIack guy and a bike? A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.

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What happend when the bike ran over a nail? It popped a wheelie.

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Why do you never run over a black person on a bike? It's probably your bike.

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