Dwarf Jokes

What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer? A midget spinner.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size ... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low

A small joke... A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
"I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket He said, " How could someone stoop so low"

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Met a Dwarf Today.... This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

A man accidentally rear-ended a car The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."

The man responds: "Then which one are you?"

A dwarf walked into a bar. The bar for this joke is set pretty low.

I ran into the back of a dwarf's car. He said he wasn't happy. I said "Well which one are you?"

An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Man walk into a bar The Hobbit laughs at them and walks under it.

I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed? How could anyone stoop so low??

I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

I was driving the other day, accidentally hit this guy in the back. Guy gets out. I see that he’s a dwarf. He starts surveying the damage, shakes his head, and says, “Well, I’m not Happy!” I said, “Well, which one are you?!” And that’s when the fight began.

I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, “now that’s a little con descending.”

So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today... As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"

To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"

I was reading in the paper... And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

I was reading in the paper today... about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright

I was walking into Best Buy... When I saw a dwarf walking out carrying a flat screen TV. I asked him, "Are you going to be able to carry that TV by yourself?" He screams back, " F*ck you! It's an iPad!"

I crashed into the back of a dwarf's car... He got out, looked at the damage and said "I'm not happy". So I replied " Which one are you then?"

What does a midget have in common with a dwarf? Very little.

Dwarf Incident I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf? He's still nuts over her.

Saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall the other day. It was a little condescending

What's the difference between Prince and a White Dwarf? Nothing, they're both dead stars.

What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro? A Metrognome.

I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall earlier. It was a little condescending.

What's the most well-known dwarf star? Peter Dinklage.

A psychic dwarf has escaped from prison He's a small medium at large

A psychic Dwarf has escaped from the prison!!! Police are looking for a small medium at large.

What does an academic dwarf call his axes? x and y.

What did the doctor say to the dwarf in his waiting room? "You're just gonna have to be a little patient."

I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me. I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.