Hilarious Dwarf Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Dwarf Jokes

Score: 7020

What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer? A midget spinner.

Score: 3478

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size ... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

Score: 3448

These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

Score: 1094

I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low

Score: 851

A small joke... A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
"I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

Score: 500

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Score: 499

I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

Score: 490

A dwarf was upset someone picked his pocket He said, " How could someone stoop so low"

Score: 315

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 270

Met a Dwarf Today.... This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

Score: 254

A man accidentally rear-ended a car The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."

The man responds: "Then which one are you?"

Score: 232

A dwarf walked into a bar. The bar for this joke is set pretty low.

Score: 202

I ran into the back of a dwarf's car. He said he wasn't happy. I said "Well which one are you?"

Score: 196

An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Man walk into a bar The Hobbit laughs at them and walks under it.

Score: 167

I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

Score: 144

Did you hear about the dwarf who was pickpocketed? How could anyone stoop so low??

Score: 139

I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

Score: 99

What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Score: 97

I was driving the other day, accidentally hit this guy in the back. Guy gets out. I see that he’s a dwarf. He starts surveying the damage, shakes his head, and says, “Well, I’m not Happy!” I said, “Well, which one are you?!” And that’s when the fight began.

Score: 95

I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, “now that’s a little con descending.”

Score: 85

So I got in a car accident with a dwarf today... As he stormed out of his car he banged on my window screaming, "I'm not happy!!"

To which I replied, "Well then which one are you?"

Score: 80

I was reading in the paper... And I saw this article about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
I thought to myself, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

Score: 76

I was reading in the paper today... about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Score: 75

Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright

Score: 68

I was walking into Best Buy... When I saw a dwarf walking out carrying a flat screen TV. I asked him, "Are you going to be able to carry that TV by yourself?" He screams back, " F*ck you! It's an iPad!"

Score: 68

I crashed into the back of a dwarf's car... He got out, looked at the damage and said "I'm not happy". So I replied " Which one are you then?"

Score: 60

What does a midget have in common with a dwarf? Very little.

Score: 55

Dwarf Incident I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

Score: 50

Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf? He's still nuts over her.

Score: 48

Saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall the other day. It was a little condescending

Score: 35

What's the difference between Prince and a White Dwarf? Nothing, they're both dead stars.

Score: 29

What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro? A Metrognome.

Score: 23

I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall earlier. It was a little condescending.

Score: 22

What's the most well-known dwarf star? Peter Dinklage.

Score: 19

A psychic dwarf has escaped from prison He's a small medium at large

Score: 17

A psychic Dwarf has escaped from the prison!!! Police are looking for a small medium at large.

Score: 17

What does an academic dwarf call his axes? x and y.

Score: 16

What did the doctor say to the dwarf in his waiting room? "You're just gonna have to be a little patient."

Score: 14

I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me. I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.

Score: 13

New Dwarf Jokes

The following jokes are not sponsored... What do you call an overweight scotsman?
- Big mac.

What do you call a cowardly dwarf?
- Chicken nugget.

What do you call the world's cheapest prostitute?
- Quarter pounder.

Score: 3

I asked my friend if he wanted to hear the story of Bobby the Dwarf. He said, "No thanks, I don't have much time."

To this, I responded, "Are you sure? It's a pretty short story."

Score: 1

A dwarf and an underage person are denied entry into a bar by a sober bouncer. All three of them agree that the bar is too high.

Score: 0

What do you call a psychic dwarf who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large!

Score: 0

My Dwarf Girlfriend has been feeling a little bit down recently. So when she gets home, I'm going to give her a nice bunch of flowers, a box of chocolate, and run her a nice hot sink.

Score: 0

Today I saw a dwarf sneaking out of a prison window on a rope of bedsheets and I said to myself... Well, that’s just a little condescending.

Score: 1

I was driving by the prison today, and I saw a dwarf climbing down the prison wall. So I thought to myself, “that’s a little condescending.”

Score: 6

Did you hear about the wanted dwarf psychic? He's a small medium at large.

Score: 4

I can't believe it. You know how Pluto was found to be a dwarf planet? Well, another planet is actually an imposter. Uranus is a black hole.

Score: 2

My last boss was a dwarf He was a real micromanager

Score: 12

BREAKING: psychic dwarf escapes from prison. Small medium at large.

Score: 3

What do you call a naked dwarf? The bare minimum

Score: 4

Why did the actor that employed a dwarf to drive him around never get any role? Because he had too little to chauffeur himself.

Score: 2

What do you call a dwarf with esp who escapes from a prison? A small medium at large.

Score: 7

What's a Dwarf's favourite toy? A midget spinner.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? The newspapers read "Beware, small medium at large!"

Score: 4

What do you call a dwarf with ESP who has just escaped from prison? A small-medium at large!

Score: 2

The dwarf This morning on the way to work I wasn't really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.
The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I said, "Well, which one are you then?"

Score: 4

How do you call a dwarf-juggling giant ? midget spinner

Score: 1

A psychic dwarf escapes from prison They said it was a small medium at large...

Score: 5

Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? He is a small medium at large.

Score: 9

Sometimes I just want to pick up a dwarf and start twirling them around. Then I'd have my very own midget spinner.

Score: 4

What do you call an ice skating dwarf? A midget spinner

Score: 12

World's shortest joke Dwarf shortage

Score: 3

A psychic dwarf has escaped from prison. Police say there is a small medium at large.

Score: 4

2 word joke Dwarf shortage.

Score: 2

I really like hanging out with my midget and dwarf friends. They're all such down to earth people.

Score: 2

I was texting on my phone and accidentally rear ended someone this morning... We Pulled into a residential area, the guy got out of his car and lo' and behold, he's a dwarf. He said, "I am NOT happy!!!" I said, "Well then which one are you?"

Score: 10

An elf and a human walk into a bar... The halfling and the dwarf pass under it.

Score: 6

This morning on the way to work I wasn't paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights. The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf. The dwarf said "I'm not happy." I said, "Well, which one are you then?"

Score: 9

Did you hear about that psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? They're a small medium at large

Score: 3

Today, I saw a dwarf prisoner... Today, I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: "That's a little condescending".

Score: 1

I am NOT Happy! I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

Score: 7

Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was "Small medium at large".

Score: 6