Hilarious Exercise Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Exercise Jokes

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting. She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific so I said

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

Score: 10928

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not. I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

Score: 1343

A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar. *[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*

Score: 292

Everyday I tell the wife I’m gonna do a few miles around the neighborhood for exercise. And I never do lol. It’s a running joke I have

Score: 163

Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.

Score: 145

My mom told me that I objectify women. When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said "it didn't work out." She said "be more specific." I said "I just told you she didn't exercise."

Score: 128

Tips to reduce weight…
First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!

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Two mathematicians walk into a bar... The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader

Score: 84

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat

Score: 67

My favourite exercise is a cross between a crunch and a lunge... it's called lunch.

Score: 66

I always wear a sleeveless shirt to the gym... But the only thing I exercise is my right to bare arms.

Score: 43

My doctor said I should exercise on top of a healthy diet. But surely a treadmill would make more sense?

Score: 38

Apparently, exercise improves your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym today I've decided I'm never going again.

Score: 36

I lost 100 pounds with this one weird trick! Exercise

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.

Score: 35

How do you get rid of an obese demon? You exercise it.

Score: 34

9 year old told me this today. My favorite exercise is a mix between a crunch and a lunge... It's called lunch. Dad, I'm hungry.

Score: 29

When I want to exercise, I wear my gym clothes... ...but when I want to wear something more formal, I wear my James clothes.

Score: 29

I think after the pandemic ends I'm still gonna wear masks when I exercise. It's a bit of a running gag.

Score: 29

We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark

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How to lose weight easy Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

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“Who’s your daddy?” A roleplay exercise in Alabama, a serious question in Detroit.

Score: 25

A mathematician walks into a bar and orders a drink. The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader.

Score: 24

My wife started swimming for exercise... she said it gave her a sense of porpoise.

Score: 24

You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally. Do it when you are offered food

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Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

Score: 21

My favorite exercise is a mix between a lunge and a crunch It's called lunch

Score: 20

My friend just bought a self-pedaling exercise bike.. I hope it works out for him.

Score: 20

What does seven days without exercise make? One weak!

Score: 19

A mother asks her son how things are going with his girlfriend. He replies, "It didn't work out." "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," says his mother. "What happened?"

The son looks confused.

"Huh? I just told you. She didn't exercise enough."

Score: 15

"Gymnasium" in ancient Greek means "naked exercise"… …but try telling that to the receptionist at the health club…

Score: 15

Best exercise to lose a few pounds... So my friend who is a fitness instructor just came up with a new exercise to lose pounds in just a matter of days. He calls it the "Brexit".

Score: 13

Why is it better to exercise in the morning? You can finish the workout before your brain realizes what it's doing.

Score: 9

A daily exercise routine.. ..is like a drug. I avoid drugs.

Score: 8

What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats

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Kegels are a good exercise they make you stronger as a hole

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The only thing I enjoy about morning exercise Is that it doesn't concern me

Score: 5

I had to stop lifting balloons as a form of exercise. It wasn't really working out.

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What's a necrophiliac's favourite exercise? Deadlifts

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New Exercise Jokes

A new study proves crossfit burns more calories than any other exercise. They burn 400 calories a day just by bringing it up in every single conversation for 10 minutes.

Score: 3

What exercise does a nose do when it ‘catches’a cold? It starts RUNNING

Score: 1

Careful Iran, because here in America, these colors don't run... ...and that's why we're overweight so remember that exercise is very important.

Score: 1

Historical women's march today... women around the country decide to exercise together to improve their bodies for their men.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!

Score: 5

What kind of exercise do you do after drinking too much Starbucks? Pilates.

Score: 4

I like to work out every other day. Every day but not today is the my ideal exercise plan.

Score: 1

What do you call a short guy on an exercise bike? A midget spinner.

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What exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats

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Did you hear about the guy who was held legally liable for clogging his friend's toilet? The judge determined that he failed to exercise "doo diligence"

Score: 2

I'll often shave my arms from my wrists all the way up to my shoulders... Just to exercise my second amendment right.

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What did the free weight say to the Princess trying to exercise in her dress? Dumb Belle

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What do you call an exercise machine with a strobe light? An epileptical.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader.

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