Hilarious Fly Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Fly Jokes

I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper... I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad.

That fly didn’t stand a chance.

Score: 11507

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Score: 10025

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Iraqi preschool? I have no idea, I just fly the drone.

Score: 9322

My first day as a car salesman... Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 6350

Score: 5335

Give a man a plane ticket... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

Score: 2045

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know I just fly the drone.

Score: 1729

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital? I dunno, I just fly the drone...

Score: 1637

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin.

Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Score: 1582

Give a man...... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day.

Push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

Score: 1202

[first day as a car salesman] Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 922

So there's a fly... and a gnat lands on its back.

The fly says, "is there a gnat on my back?"

The gnat says, "gnat at all."

The fly says, "that's the worst pun I've ever heard."

The gnat goes, "what do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!"

Score: 870

Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school? I dont know, I just fly the drones.

Score: 854

A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says "Penguins can't fly."

Score: 829

What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 814

What's the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground? I dunno, I just fly the drone.

Score: 736

What is the difference between a Pakistani Wedding and a Taliban training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Score: 623

Why don't helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly.

Score: 558

My first day as car salesman Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 468

What's the difference between a Pakistani preschool and Isis headquarters? I don't know man I just fly the drones

Score: 395

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Afghanistan elementary school? I have no clue, I just fly the drone.

Score: 381

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird.

Score: 357

A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly... ...and as you can see, they were Wright

Score: 345

I asked my daughter for the news I asked my daughter to bring me the newspaper. she said I'm too old fashioned and brought me her iPhone. Not getting too much into details, the fly is now dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is crying

Score: 332

I asked my daughter to bring me my newspaper She told me that newspapers are oldschool. She said me that people nowadays use tablets and handed me her iPad

That fly didn't stand a chance

Score: 328

“Hey, bug on my back,” asked a fly. “Are you a mite?” “I mite be,” giggled the mite.

The fly groaned. “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard!”

“Well, what did you expect?” said the mite. “I came up with it on the fly.”

Score: 319

“Stewardess” “Yes, Sir?”

“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can’t sleep.”

“Captain, shut up and land the plane.”

Score: 291

What's the difference between a Pakistani wedding party and an Al-Qaeda training camp? Dunno, I just fly the drone.

Score: 287

What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani Elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Score: 256

What’s the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani Elementary school? I don’t know, I just fly the drone.

Score: 241

What's the difference between a Taliban Base and a hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone

Score: 206

What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone.

Score: 175

What's the difference between a group of Pakastani School Girls and a group of ISIS soldiers.. Don't ask me I just fly the drone.

Score: 169

This person told me "When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!" Alas, swine flu.

Score: 166

This just in, giant fly attacking the city The SWAT team has been called in to deal with the situation

Score: 134

Two spiders are at another spiders funeral. "Peter was the most gentle spider I ever knew. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Yeah, that's true. Do you know what he died from?"

"Starvation."

Score: 124

Why do you fly United early in the morning? To beat the crowd.

Score: 87

Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly. Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.

Score: 77

She said she'll go out with me when pigs can fly But she also said men were pigs, so I don't know what she's waiting for.

Score: 62

Whats the difference between an ISIS stronghold and a syrian school? I dont know, i just fly the drone.

Score: 60

New Fly Jokes

"Hey, bug on my back", asked a fly. "Are you a mite?" "I mite be," giggled the mite. The fly groaned. "That's the worst joke I've ever heard!"
"Well, what do you expect?" said the mite.
"I came up with it on the fly"

Score: 5

Q: What's the best way to kill a fly A: Call the swat team

Score: 4

What gives dumbo the ability to fly? Air force one

Score: 6

I asked my daughter if she had seen newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad. The fly didn’t stand a chance.

Score: 37

I told my daughter to give me my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school, and people nowadays use tablets, so she gave me her iPad. That fly didn't stand a chance

Score: 14

What’s the difference between a Middle Eastern preschool and an ISIS training camp? I have no idea, I just fly the drone

Score: 21

What is the difference between an Afghan terror camp and an Afghan nursery? No idea, I just fly the drone.

Score: 15

A boy with swollen cheek. Mom looks at her son and asks "What happened Timmy?".
Tim replies "A fly landed on my face in the garden.".
"Did it bite you?" asks mom.
"No, dad killed it with a shovel." says Tim.

Score: 26

Name a bird with wings but can't fly? Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student: "A dead bird, sir."

Score: 4

A patient tells his doctor he thinks he contracted Swine Flu and Avian Flu at the same time. The doctor tells him "I'll believe that when pigs fly."

Score: 4

A little boy asks a dealer in an alley dressed like Santa Claus, "Santa, how do your reindeer fly?"

He replies, "With magic, of course!-

You want some magic?"

Score: 4

Why did the bird fly south for winter? It was too far to walk

Score: 5

I could vaguely hear my neighbours arguing about reincarnation. I wanted to hear more. So I killed myself and became a fly on the wall.

Score: 11

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be called bagels.

Score: 5

Guy in a restaurant spills some soup in his lap... He says, "Waiter! There's some soup on my fly!"

Score: 4

How does Dumbo fly? He just does. The mechanics of it are ear elephant.

Score: 10

What did the Klingon say to the flight attendant? Today is a good day to fly.

Score: 7

Science makes you fly to the moon Religion makes you fly into skyscrapers

Score: 18

What's a pelican's favorite sport? *fly* fishing!

Score: 10

What's worse than finding a fly in you soup? Getting hit by a bus

Score: 30

What was two wings, but cannot fly; two eyes, but cannot see; and two legs, but cannot walk? A dead bird.

Score: 39

What's the difference between a hospital and a terrorist hideout? I dunno man, I just fly the drones

Score: 8

My wife doesn’t fly too well. Looking at the damage to the sidewalk she doesn’t land too well either.

Score: 4

When I heard about 9-11... Considering I was living in New York at the time, as it was happening it occurred to me how easily that it could have been me involved

But then I realised I had no idea how to fly a plane

Score: 6

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Cause if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Score: 8

I always wanted to keep a fly as a pet. But that idea quickly went out the window.

Score: 17

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

Don't be sad... Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.

Score: 42

Why did the bee fly in a parabolic arch? Just bee-cos.

Score: 4

A spider got sick from eating a fly he trapped... his mother told him not to trust everything he finds on the web

Score: 9

21st century newspaper I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
'This is the 21st century,' she said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'.
I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!

Score: 38

What do Buzz Lightyear and Bees have in common? They both can fly.

What?

You thought I was going to make a pun? I'm not that shallow.

Now buzz off.

Score: 5

Why can't transvestites fly planes? Theres too much drag.

Score: 8

A fly just fell into my butter Now it's a butterfly

*My six year old just dropped this on me

Score: 12

How do witches fly in the rain? With a mop.

Score: 4

Why did the flock of geese cross the road? Because they were afraid to fly United.

Score: 18

I'm starting to feel that the united airlines memes are like beating a dead horse. so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.

Score: 20

When you fly United Airlines they treat you like a King. Rodney King that is.

Score: 8

Sunny day with my gf. I ask honey if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad."

She is right, I kill the son of b* in one shot.

I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Score: 9

How can you tell if a fly has farted? It flied straight for a moment

Score: 4

What's the difference between an AL Queada base and a Pakistani school? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

DISCLAIMER: Not my joke.

Score: 6

I will never fly virgin airlines again... They never go all the way.

Score: 29

What would happen if pigs could fly??? The price of bacon would go up!!!

Score: 13

What's the difference between a Pakistani school and military base? Don't ask me man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 38

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani school I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

I like this joke because it never grows old.

Score: 16

"What's the difference between an Al-Qaeda base and a Pakistani school?" "I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

Score: 5

I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings

Score: 44

Whats the differebce between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Score: 4

What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world? You mean across?

Score: 10

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion

Score: 10

You know you just can't tell Penguin jokes. They just don't fly

Score: 21

How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone

Score: 50

Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk

Score: 6

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list? Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands

Score: 24

I told my pregnant girl friend that she was as big as a 747. That did not fly.

Score: 6

Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!

Score: 4

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

What do you call that same fly without legs?

A raisin.

Score: 6

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an elementary school? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Score: 10

Heard this joke from a 2 year old today Why did the chicken walk across the street?

Because he can't fly

Score: 4