Hilarious Hippie Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Hippie Jokes

What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi

Score: 340

Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out, man.

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Why did the hippie drown in the ocean? He was too far out.

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Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Cause he was too far out, man

Score: 118

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player will shower after three periods.

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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man

Score: 107

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out

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How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house? He's still there.

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What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes shower after three periods.

Score: 73

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man

Score: 65

Why did the hippie lifeguard not save the drowning boy? He was too far out man!!

Score: 63

How do you address a Hippie's Wife? Mississippi.

Score: 53

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

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Why did the hippie drown? Because he was too far out, man.

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out man.

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out, man

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I got a new SUV. My hippie friend says to me, "What about the Rainforests? What about the glaciers?" .. I'm like "Man, it's got 4 wheel drive... We can go anywhere you want!"

-Michael Palascak

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Why did the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out.

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning? He was too far out, man

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Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?" I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"



That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

Score: 45

Why didn't the hippie save the drowning swimmer? He was too far out man

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How come the lifeguard didn’t save the hippie Because he was too far out man

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Why was the lifeguard unable to save the hippie from drowning in the ocean? He was too *far out, man*.

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Where do you drown a hippie? In the mainstream (I know it was terrible)

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What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods

Score: 37

How do you get a hippie off your door step? Pay for the pizza and close the door.

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Why didn't the hippie lifeguard save the drowning swimmer? 'Cause he was *too far out, man!*

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.

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What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

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What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player takes a shower every 3 periods.

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What's the difference between a Hockey Player and a Hippie Chick? A Hockey Player takes a shower after three periods

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What's the difference between a pizza and a hippie chick? I don't peel the crust off a pizza before I eat it.

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Why didn't the life guard save the drowning hippie? Because he was just too far out man

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I’m in Ocean Beach and a homeless man just told me this joke. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out.

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Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie? One's stoned and one's baked.

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What did the hippie on your couch say when you asked him to leave? Namaste

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How can you see if a hippie has a girlfriend? He has one clean finger

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too Far Out Mannn

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Why didn't the coast guard save the hippie? He was just too far out there, man.

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New Hippie Jokes

What’s a health conscious hippie use to make their toast? Grainful Bread

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If the Hippie era happened in the Sovyet Union It'd be called ourpower

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How do you know if a hippie has been inside your house? he's still there.

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What do you call a long haired stoner that does the things he tells others not to do? A hippie-crite!

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How do you upset a hippie? By being incense-itive.

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Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out.

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What's the difference between a hippie and a hippo? Hippos are cool.

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How do you know when a hippie gets laid? 2 fingers are clean

Edit: took out "his" for the SJW people

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How do you know a hippie is on her period? She's only wearing one sock.

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Who did Mister Hippie marry? Missus Hippie!

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Did you hear about the unfaithful hippie? She was stoned to death.

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Why is it so hard to get rid of a hippie? When you ask them if they want to go home, they usually say "Namaste"

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Have you heard about the hippie ornithologist who went to the arctic? He left no tern unstoned.

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I had a party the other night. Asked everyone to GTFO. some hippie told me Namaste

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Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund. Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

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What does a hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste

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What do you call hippie siblings in a relationship? Incense

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What does a hippie king and rancid precipitation have in common? Acid Reign

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How can you tell that the hippie kid got laid? Two clean fingers.

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How do you stop a hippie from drowning? Take your combat boot off his head.

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Sadly, the lifeguard couldn't save the hippie from drowning He was too far out

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Why couldn't the cop save the hippie from drowning? He was too far out man

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